Best Headline Ever: "Deputies Find Crack in Suspect's Buttocks"

Quentin Hill, possessor of the crack and the buttocks in question.
Quentin Hill, possessor of the crack and the buttocks in question.
Erie County Sheriff's Office via 9News

Over the years, we've saluted plenty of hilarious headlines, including the 2012 fave "Penis Tattoo Causes Permanent Erection."

Of course, not every laugh-getting headline is intentionally created with comedy in mind.

And one we spotted on 9News yesterday — "Deputies Find Crack in Suspect's Buttocks" — seemed likely to be changed pronto.

After all, most of us don't need to launch an investigation to find ass cracks.

This morning, though, the headline remains on the 9News story — and plenty of others, too.

The article relates to Quentin Hill of Erie County, New York, who stuffed some crack cocaine down the back of his pants during a traffic stop. Here's a screen capture of the 9News item:

Taken literally, "Deputies Find Crack in Suspect's Buttocks" makes little sense, as pointed out by a commentator on the Reddit subcategory called "Not the Onion," which featured the headline alongside such gems as "Rape kit system unnecessary since most accusations false, Idaho sheriff says," "Congressman Proposes Resolution to Recognize Magic as Rare and Valuable" and "Australian insists illegal pet rabbit is a guinea pig."

The reader asked, "Was it in the middle of the buttocks, and went all the way from the top to the bottom?"

Turns out, though, that 9News was far from the only news purveyor to reproduce the headline used on Hill's story. We also found it accompanying the same report at WGRZ in New York, 12News in Arizona, WFAA in Texas and more, more, more.

In previous years, stations might have been inundated with ridicule for such a headline, but not today. And frankly, that's fine by us. We're reassured knowing that law enforcers looking at a suspect's behind are capable of finding crack — be it one kind or another.



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