On The Simpsons, Mr. Burns frequently says, "Release the hounds!" But not having any vicious canines at his command earlier this week, Joshua Alger made do with the resources he had at hand -- and released the children!
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Alger, 28, reportedly passed out drunk in the play area of a Colorado Springs McDonald's, with his offspring in tow. The police were called and discovered there was a warrant out for Alger's arrest. But when they called the kids' mother to pick them up, Alger wigged out, directing children to "bite the officers' faces off."
For this, Alger got what he deserved -- tased -- and the cops' faces remained intact. No word as to whether the kids were named Rover and Spike. But clearly, they need more training.