If you thought pimping your ride with advertisements was an over-the-top way to make some cash, try tattooing your body with advertisers' logos — for life. Three local twenty-somethings are now offering themselves as the ultimate billboards, with $40,000 securing space on a head, while a cheapskate can get hooked up with a torso for just a grand.
"The way I look at it, corporate advertising is pretty much everywhere, and it was just a matter of time until somebody did it," explains Everly Bustos, aka DJ Shake, who organized the moneymaking scheme and posted it on eBay. "I could see an energy drink company — they usually do wild stuff like that," he adds. "But it doesn't really matter to me much who it is."
As long as it's someone — and so far, Bustos hasn't seen much interest in his auction, which ends on July 26. But until then, he'll keep relisting, using his active lifestyle, Oscar Cedillo's washboard abs and Jacque Johnson's model looks as bait for potential advertisers.
Date night: Colorado College associate professor Lián Amaris Sifuentes used her body as a canvas last week, when she camped out on a traffic island in New York's Union Square for 72 hours — to prepare for a date. Visitors stumbling across her performance-art piece, called "Fashionably Late for the Relationship," watched as Sifuentes went through all the beauty-ritual motions in super slow-mo. Seven hours to drink a glass of wine. Fifteen hours trying on outfits.
"I'm a feminist, but a lot of my work is based around body issues and femininity in general, and beauty and issues of beauty," Sifuentes says. "Part of the inspiration for 'Fashionably Late' was looking at that private ritual space and exposing it and exposing the absurdity of it."
And exposing herself to the reactions of everyone from hecklers who called her vain and self-absorbed to feminists who were upset because the set was too pretty. "It was very pretty," she admits. "The aesthetics were important — that it looked beautiful was part of the point. But that it would take 72 hours for me to look beautiful reveals the absurdity."
What did she finally decide to wear? A pink dress with gold shoes from John Fluevog, her favorite designer.
And how was the date after all that lead-up? Not as exciting as her outfit — since the date turned out to be non-existent.
Scene and herd: Passengers attempting to fly from Missoula, Montana, to Denver on the evening of July 7, were surprised when the pilot said their United flight was being diverted to Colorado Springs because Denver International Airport had been closed by bad weather, the plane needed to refuel, and "hopefully by then," he promised, "DIA will be open." And it was. But then, DIA had never actually closed, as the people who waited for the Missoula passengers could have told them.
Because of "intermittent microbursts... some departure routes were closed," explains DIA spokesman Chuck Cannon. "So you move things around. That's how DIA was designed."
The airport rates a mention in the latest Jack Reacher thriller, Bad Luck and Trouble, by Lee Child — whose villain changes planes at the airport, and so enjoys the "circus music" on the trains that he makes a couple of extra trips to the concourses during a layover. Good thing he meets his match in Reacher, though, because we wouldn't like to be around when this very bad guy discovers that the music has been replaced, along with the voices of original spokespeople Pete Smythe and Reynelda Muse. Now Channel 9's Adele Arakawa and former Rockies announcer Alan Roach do the honors, with the latter sounding much more like he's calling a game than directing airport traffic.
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