Botox Bandit, August 9
Here's a brief rundown on what people are searching on Google today:
People magazine, in their oh-so-informative Caught in the Act column, writes this about Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo and her new fiancé:
Ellen Pompeo, meeting up with her fiancé Chris Ivery at L'Ermitage, a Beverly Hills hotel. Though he arrived in the lobby moments before her, the Grey's Anatomy star, sporting a flowy, leopard-print sundress, sought him out and sashayed into the bar and lobby area before taking off five minutes later.
Pompeo herself renders this reporting -- and the fact that her fiancé is the top search item today – ironic with this quote she gave the AP as part of a derisive rant calling the media out for over reporting the lives of celebrities who contribute nothing to society:
I just think the media should take this country in a different direction.
We would Ellen, but the honest truth is that we'd feed Christians to lions if it would sell ads.
Reuters is reporting that an amateur paleontologist was surveying a construction site in Switzerland and unearthed what is probably the largest mass Plateosaurus grave in Europe. This massive resting place was probably a prehistoric mating ground where the thunderous mating calls that preceded dinosaur intercourse could be heard for miles. Not unlike LoDo on a Saturday.
CNN is reporting that a Russian bomber “flew over a U.S. military base on the Pacific island of Guam on Wednesday and 'exchanged smiles' with U.S. pilots who had scrambled to track it.” The bomber, reportedly a long-range Russian-made Tupolev Tu-160, which is capable of delivering a nuclear payload to our backdoor, was ordered to go out and greet U.S. pilots, and a Russian general is quoted as saying:
It has always been the tradition of our long-range aviation to fly far into the ocean, to meet [U.S.] aircraft carriers and greet [U.S. pilots] visually. Yesterday we revived this tradition, and two of our young crews paid a visit to the area of the [U.S. Pacific Naval Activities] base of Guam.
That's so sweet. The Russians revived a dead Cold War policy of flying to U.S. territory, scaring the shit of our military who scrambled fighter jets to attack the Russian craft, all with the neighborly intent of saying hello.
People all over the internets are trying to track down a man by the name of Steely McBean, when the real name of the Pittburgh Steelers new mascot is the more intuitive Steely McBeam. What do Steelers fans think of the new mascot? The ones who aren't drowning in the torrential downpour that has prompted a state of emergency in western Pennsylvania are understandably pissed.
A peitition is already being circulated via petitionspot.com that reads:
We the members of Steeler Nation, are now embarrassed. The name Steely McBeam is a terrible choice for naming our new mascot. It does not represent the toughness of our city or of our team. Look in the stands during a game and you will see we are our own cheerleaders and some fans are our own mascot. If it were up to Steeler Nation we would remove the mascot altogether, especially since it looks like Bill Cowher. Those who have signed the petition below, would like the name to be changed by a vote by the fans, or have the mascot removed for good.
In related news, the weather in Pittsburgh sucks.
-- Sean Cronin
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