John Bowlen and Jordan Hancock are ready for the ultimate celebrity son douchebag showdown.
John Bowlen and Jordan Hancock are ready for the ultimate celebrity son douchebag showdown.
9News file photo/Denver7

Celeb Sons Jordan Hancock and John Bowlen: Who's the Biggest Douchebag?

In a new video, Jordan Hancock, the 22-year-old son of Denver Mayor Michael Hancock, behaves like an entitled asshat after being stopped for a traffic violation in Aurora. But was the performance enough to unseat reigning champion John Bowlen, ne'er-do-well offspring of Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, as the most douchebaggy celebrity son in the Mile High City?

To find out, we're going to pit the two against each other in a good, old-fashioned idiot-off. Let the biggest moron win.

The Original Act of Dumbassery

As first reported by Denver7, Hancock was pulled over by an Aurora cop a little before 8 a.m. on March 23 near the intersection of East 40th Avenue and Walden Street. He was allegedly driving 65 miles per hour in a 40 mph zone.

Bowlen was busted on June 3, 2015, after his then-girlfriend dialed 911 from an apartment at 4550 Cherry Creek Drive South in Glendale. She'd made the call, she told the operator, because after drinking and inhaling whippets, Bowlen announced that he'd killed someone. According to the arrest report in the case, the then-29-year-old Bowlen reacted to the woman's outreach efforts by shoving her against a wall.

Winner: Bowlen. Speeding is dangerous, but Hancock wasn't cited with driving under the influence. In contrast, Bowlen was said to have been fueled by booze and whippets — nitrous-oxide chargers of the sort whose use even the most brain-dead frat bros tend to outgrow by graduation.

Referencing Daddy

Hancock didn't wait long before playing the father card, telling the officer, "My dad's the mayor, you fucking faggot."

The cop had the perfect retort ready: "Of Denver? Well, you're in Aurora."

But that didn't dissuade Hancock, who said, "Guess what: I'm about to get you fired, you fucking bitch."

Here's the clip, which has been bleeped for those with tender sensibilities:

Bowlen, meanwhile, gave himself a promotion, telling the 911 operator, "This is the owner of the Denver Broncos" — which he most assuredly was not.

After insisting that "nothing is wrong" (an assertion that was undercut by the sound of his girlfriend screaming in the background), he declared himself to be the "blood of the city," whatever the hell that means, and talked up his friendship with none other than Mayor Michael Hancock.

Winner: Hancock. His language was less creative than crass, not to mention both homophobic and misogynistic, but at least he attempted to use his own dad instead of trying to usurp someone else's. As a bonus, Papa Hancock, who's had some behavioral issues of his own lately, hopes to use the experience as a life lesson, as expressed in the following tweet sent yesterday: "We've addressed our son's behavior at a traffic stop w/him. He's apologized to the officer. While we don't support nor condone his inexcusable actions & words, we love our son dearly & will work w/him to turn a personal mistake into a valuable lesson for himself & the community."

Tie-Breakers:

The last time Jordan Hancock appeared in an embarrassing headline was the fall of 2014, when it was revealed that the then 19-year-old had been a passenger in an SUV in Fort Collins when companion Jalen Marquise Robinson was shot in the back of the head.

The younger Hancock, who was attending school in Atlanta at the time, wasn't charged with a crime in the incident, but the attendant details were problematic. A warrant issued in the matter noted that multiple 911 calls came in at around 2:42 a.m. on September 28 of that year, with callers reporting that they'd heard "suh woop" chants associated with the Bloods street gang from those gathered nearby — and there were plenty of them. As many as 100 people are said to have congregated on the street, with some of them allegedly having gotten into a beef with the occupants of an SUV before shots rang out.

Afterward, the SUV, driven by Rashaun Marshall, left the area and headed to a nearby hospital, where Robinson responded to treatment; he survived. Hancock and the other occupants — there were seven people in the vehicle — insisted that no one in the SUV had a gun and maintained that the shot had come from outside. However, one of ten occupants in a second SUV that had followed the ride driven by Marshall contradicted this version of events.

The Hancock family in 2014, with Jordan seen at the far right.
The Hancock family in 2014, with Jordan seen at the far right.
File photo

And Bowlen? With the help of attorney Harvey Steinberg, the go-to lawyer for any Bronco in trouble, he appealed his conviction for misdemeanor harassment — strike/shove/kick, for which he received just 24 months' probation and an analysis of his drug-and-alcohol use, based on a technicality involving the alleged absence of a statute number on his citation.

However, Arapahoe County District Court Judge John Wheeler sacked that argument, and when Bowlen tried to push his beef to the next level, the Colorado Supreme Court refused to hear the case.

The next chapter in Bowlen's story was broken by TMZ — never a good sign. Beginning just shy of 1:30 p.m. on Sunday, July 30, 2017, in the California county of San Luis Obispo, 911 calls reportedly started coming in about a driver so dangerous — the speed of his Jeep Cherokee is said to have exceeded 100 miles per hour — that five California state patrolmen were dispatched to find him. Around 45 minutes later, Bowlen was finally nabbed, and according to arresting officers, he immediately went into the do-you-know-who-my-dad-is routine again.

Shockingly enough given the Cali locale, this tactic didn't work, and a supposedly uncooperative Bowlen was taken into custody on suspicion of DUI and reckless driving. Seized at the same time was a cocker spaniel puppy named Duke that had come along for the ride.

Winner and still champ: Bowlen, for refusing to accept a wrist slap and then violating his probation in a way that suggests the evaluation of his alcohol use didn't quite stick. Meanwhile, a statement given to Denver7 by Aurora Police Chief Nick Metz suggests that whoever leaked the video of Hancock to the TV station may earn greater punishment than the Denver mayor's son, who got away with a mere $250 fine — which is the kind of thing that happens to those who get tangled up with celebrity sons.

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