Earlier this week, 23-year-old Boulder resident and apparent muscle-shirt enthusiast Christopher Condiotti was arrested and charged with child abuse after shoppers at King Soopers told police that he'd slapped a four-year-old boy and cursed him.
According to reports, the boy got lost in the store, and Condiotti and King Soopers employees searched for him. After they found him, at least six witnesses told police that Condiotti hit the boy.
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One told police he "cursed the boy before striking him in the mouth with an open hand, and then swinging his hand across his body and striking the child on the left side of his face," the Boulder Daily Camera reports.
"Yes, I hit him. I spanked him," Condiotti reportedly told the police later, adding that some of the witnesses "tried to be (expletive) heroes" and stop him from leaving.
And fucking heroes they were. Because anyone who slaps a four-year-old in the face deserves the same treatment -- but from sometime four times his size.
For more shmucks, visit our Shmuck of the Week archive.