When does a yard sale turn into a face-punching, glass-stabbing, cane-whacking beatdown?
When you're dealing with a Schmuck of the Week like our latest nominee, Shelly Serra.
On Friday, September 28, according to the document, sheriff's office personnel were dispatched to an area near Serra's home, on the 400 block of 32 Road in the community of Clifton, just outside Grand Junction on Colorado's Western Slope.
Here's an interactive graphic showing the area. If you have problems seeing the image, click "View on Google Maps."
There, they found a woman bleeding so profusely from a gash on her head that she had to be hospitalized.
What went down? The report says Serra and a neighbor were staging a joint yard sale that went awry after Serra got drunk and started blasting the radio so loud that her pal feared she would scare away customers.
A suggestion to dial down the tunes didn't go well. The MCSO maintains that Serra responded by slapping the neighbor in the face, then knocking some of her sales items to the ground, causing them to break.
Next, Serra allegedly punched the neighbor in the head, then struck her with a glass object of some type, which shattered against her head. But that apparently wasn't enough for Serra, who's said to have continued hitting the woman with a broken piece of glass.
The attack only stopped, according to authorities, after the neighbor's husband smacked Serra with his walking cane until she headed back home.
According to Serra, the fight was actually between the neighbor and her husband — and she said the guy accidentally clobbered her in the head, too. But deputies didn't buy that explanation. Serra was booked on suspicion of second-degree assault with injury, using a deadly weapon and criminal mischief.
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When it comes to schmuckiness, the yard sale was a bargain. Here's Serra's booking photo.
Mesa County Sheriff's Office