Dan Maes: Five more terrifying ways Denver is turning into the United Nations

There's been lotsa entertainment value in Colorado's primary races, from Tom Tancredo's guv run to Scott McInnis's plagiarism problems -- and now, Dan Maes's declaration that Denver's B-Cycle program might turn the city into "the United Nations" via wrongheaded environmental do-goodism. What other seemingly harmless things might cause us to...

By Michael Roberts

August 4, 2010

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There's been lotsa entertainment value in Colorado's primary races, from Tom Tancredo's guv run to Scott McInnis's plagiarism problems -- and now, Dan Maes's declaration that Denver's B-Cycle program might turn the city into "the United Nations" via wrongheaded environmental do-goodism. What other seemingly harmless things might cause us to become globalism-loving, freedom-challenged automatons? Here's our top five:

5. Local Starbucks branches continue to sell coffee from all over the world. What's wrong with sticking to blends from Dubuque, Iowa?

4. Area radio stations play too many songs by Britain's Got Talent performer Susan Boyle, squeezing out airplay for homegrown American Idol stars like Clay Aiken and the "Pants on the Ground" guy.

3. The name of Denver's World Trade Center hurtfully implies that Colorado isn't enough for us all by itself.

2. Metro Best Buy outlets still selling TV remotes with SAP buttons, nefariously promoting languages other than 'Merican.

1. Street-side recycling programs send a message that we should be conserving resources, which is bad for reasons we'll think of after running over a B-Cycle in our Hummer.

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

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