Dear Stoner: Here's a stoner question that's been on my mind: Is the world eternal?
Dear Grass Hopper: Waxing philosophical is one of life's greatest stoned joys. As for your eternally unanswerable question: This stoner is a bowl-half-full kind of guy. Yes, the fact that Earth is only 4.5 billion years old is pretty irrefutable (unless you actually take the Bible literally), but the laws of the natural world around us would indicate that this world has been around forever — at least on the physical plane we currently know. See, the matter that makes up the earth — the air, the mountains, puppies, and the newspaper you are reading right now — was at one point just floating around in the ether of space and time, and it will be that way again someday. Think about it like this: The ganja you grow in your garden stems from a seed, but it pulls elements from the soil, sun and air to grow. When it is harvested, cured and smoked, those elements are transferred to another physical state again. In other words, the cannabis plants you haven't even grown yet already exist and the plants you toked on years ago still linger to this day. Put that in your rolling paper, twist it up and ponder it for a while.
Dear Stoner: What happens if I get caught with legal Colorado weed out of state?
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Dear JB: The first thing you should remember is that just because that ounce of herb is legal in Colorado, it doesn't mean it's legal anywhere else. If you're caught out of state, you're subject to the laws of that state — not Colorado. And it is worth noting that we're surrounded by some of the worst states in the nation in terms of marijuana penalties, and troopers just love profiling and pulling over our green-and-white license plates. Any amount of pot can get you a year in jail and $2,500 fines in Kansas and Oklahoma; an ounce or less will get you fifteen days in jail in New Mexico; and two pounds or less can get you up to 1.5 years in jail in Arizona. Utah hands down six-month sentences for an ounce or less; Wyoming will jail you for a year for three ounces or less, but can jail you for a decade for sale or delivery of pot. And while Nebraska has reduced possession of up to one ounce of herb to a ticketable offense, those caught distributing marijuana there face up to twenty years in jail. Our advice (because you're likely to get pulled over): Ditch the buds at the border and find a hookup when you arrive at your destination. Friendly hotel clerks, bartenders and valet drivers are usually a good source.