Dear Stoner: Should I smoke pot grown in a flooded area?
Dear Stoner: My grower said his greenhouse in Weld County got flooded, and he offered to let me take some plants home if I help him clean up. He said the place smells like manure from the floodwaters. My question: Is the stuff safe to smoke? Because I sure don't want to make any "brownies" out of it.
Rockin' the Good Shit
Dear Rockin': Manure has been a staple fertilizer for vegetables for thousands of years. And while it's not necessarily a common fertilizer for cannabis, as long as you flush the plants well before harvesting them (and maybe give them a little spray-down with some water before they go into flower), I don't see anything wrong with smoking them.
But that's not what you're asking. You're asking if plants soaked in floodwaters are okay, and the answer is: probably not. Animal shit is the least of your worries. It's the human shit you need to watch out for. Septic systems overflowed all over the place during the flood. And depending on the location of your grower's greenhouse in Weld County, you could be dealing with some wicked chemicals, thanks to the various oil spills in the area. At the very least, you've got all the nasty chemicals from nearby farmlands in there, as well as oil and gasoline from flooded cars. You get the point.
If it were me, I'd tell my friend that I'll wait until his next, poop-free harvest to take him up on his offer. And I would definitely avoid any food cooked with pot at his house over the next few months.
Dear Stoner: Is smoking resin bad for you? I still enjoy a black, tarry bowl of smoke now and then. Is that so wrong?
Nasty Nick B.
Dear Nasty Nick: Smoking anything isn't great for you. But, no, smoking cannabis resin isn't going to be any more harmful to you than smoking cannabis itself — aside from giving you ass-breath and a raging headache from too much smoke and too little THC. Now, is it wrong? To each his own, and I'm not judging you here. But this is Colorado, and we here at Ask a Stoner figure that anyone who's smoking resin is actively trying to not smoke actual marijuana at this point. Even quasi-homeless Colfax bums are smoking organic sensi these days, man. Clean your pipe and find a more reliable connection; it really shouldn't be that hard.
Got a question for our stoned scribe? Want an answer? Put down that doobie and send your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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