Delegating Denver #39 of 56: Ohio
Total Number of Delegates: 162
How to Recognize an Ohio Delegate:
If the state of Connecticut married the state of Kentucky, their baby would be the state of Ohio. Like no other Americans, Ohioans combine the cold-hearted industriousness of the New England Yankee with the rock-headed stubbornness of the Appalachian hillbilly. These traits make Buckeyes the best employees in the nation, as long as they can tell their bosses how to run their businesses. And Ohioans mean business. If measured as a nation, the Ohio GDP would be the seventeenth-largest in the world. But while proud of their work ethic, Ohioans don't flaunt their earnings. The state is home to both Abercrombie & Fitch and Macy's, but Buckeyes secretly prefer to shop for fashion basics at Columbus-based Big Lots! and DSW. However, for the Democratic Convention in Denver, Ohio delegates will be wearing solid-color sportswear purchased from Filene's Basement in trend-less styles that can be worn for the next twenty years. Female delegates who live north of I-70 will choose styles befitting a mid-ranking Communist Party undersecretary in somber tones of navy, olive or brown. Females who live south of I-70 will wear slightly dressier styles in brighter shades of red, purple and beige, accessorized with a gold cross on a chain. Male Buckeyes always wear gray pants paired with shirts emblazoned with the logos of the football team that plays in the stadium nearest to their home.
Airplaners Orville and Wilbur Wright; astronauts Neil Armstrong and Judith Resnick; artists Jim Flora, Jenny Holzer and Maya Lin; broadcasters Ted Turner and Hugh Downs; cartoonists Harvey Pekar and Derf; writers Sherwood Anderson, Toni Morrison, Erma Bombeck and Zane Grey; actors Paul Newman, Sarah Jessica Parker, Fred Willard, Katie Holmes, Paul Lynde, Anne Heche, Luke Perry, Molly Shannon and Woody Harrelson; musicians Dean Martin, Bootsy Collins, Chrissy Hynde, Dave Grohl, Marilyn Manson, Kim and Kelley Deal; feminist Gloria Steinem; celebrealist Carmen Electra.
Famous Ohio Democrats:
2008 presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich; former United States senator Howard Metzenbaum; former United States senator and first American to orbit the Earth John Glenn; 6th United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Donna Shalala; former United States representative indicted for bribery and racketeering James Traficant (projected release date: September 2, 2009); former Cinncinnati mayor and TV host Jerry Springer; Alison's Soul Sista of the Year representative Stephanie Tubbs Jones.
Famous Ohioans With Denver Connections:
Territorial governor and highest state peak namesake Samuel Elbert;Rocky Mountain News founder William Byers; City of Greeley founder Nathan Meeker; Dearfield founder Oliver Toussaint Jackson; Four Mile House founders Samuel and Jonas Bratner; Springs pottery founder Artus Van Briggle; artist Vance Kirkland; Lodo Red House builder Frederick R. Mayer; Colorado Ballet instructor/choreographer Danielle Sunseri; regressive Republican Bob Schaffer; former tiny Nugget Earl Boykins; former Denver Broncos place kicker Rich Karlis; former Denver Bronco and current News4 sports anchor Reggie Rivers; storm chaser Tony Laubach.
State Nickname: The Buckeye State, Birthplace of Aviation, The Mother of Modern Presidents (official); The Bucktooth State, Birthplace of Modern Mothers, Conntucky (unofficial).
Racial Distribution: 84% white, 12% black, 1.5% Asian, 2.5% Hispanic
Per Capita Personal Income: $30,129
Recommendations for the Ohio Delegation:
Most Ohioan Denver Neighborhood: Congress Park
Most Ohioan Bar:
3 Kings Tavern
60 South Broadway
Buckeyes made rock and roll safe for the world, and they can continue to do so from the comfy booths that ring the room of Denver's best band-friendly bar.
Most Ohioan Restaurant:
Bonnie Brae Tavern
740 South University
Whether feasting on the pizza or the pot roast, take time to note that the clientele, the menu and the decor all appear to have been transported from Youngstown circa 1955.
Most Ohioan Day Trip: Old Colorado City
Speaking of Buckeye offspring, not only does Ohio bill itself as the Mother of Modern Presidents, but the tourism department also boasts that 75% of all Americans can trace their ancestry through the state. Colorado is no exception. While many cities, towns and businesses along the Front Range were founded by Ohioans, fewer Buckeye place names exist in the mountains. This is because Ohio residents detest spending time in the wilderness and hate even more to have to read a road map to navigate their way out. A visit to Old Colorado City honors both the Buckeye's wandering spirit and his fear of complex directions in a trip that is both away from it all and in the middle of the city. First of all, ask the Curtis Hotel concierge how to get to I-25. Take the interstate south for 70 miles to Colorado Springs. As you approach downtown, turn right onto U.S. Highway 24 (West Cimmaron Street), drive 1.5 miles, turn left on 21st Street and immediately hang a right into the Van Briggle Pottery Studios parking lot. Unclench your hands from the steering wheel: You’re done with the car until it's time to drive back to Denver. The pottery studio was founded in 1901 by Ohio native Artus Van Briggle. It is currently housed in the Midland Terminal Railway roundhouse, built in 1899, with regularly scheduled tours available. From here, it’s a six-block walk to the heart of Old Colorado City Historic District along West Colorado Avenue. Colorado City was established in 1859 and designated the first capital of the Colorado Territory. The historic district sits at the base of Pikes Peak and is as close as a human can get to the looming mass without having to drive into the Rocky Mountains. The street is lined with enough oddball art galleries to thrill Buckeyes who seek a walk on the wild side, yet still remains well within their comfort zones. All of the shops have walking-tour maps that can be used to locate parked cars. Better yet, take a pedicab. There's a 75% chance that the driver (or his mother) was born in Ohio. — Kenny Be
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