Mike Wheeler, one-half of the Pleasures Dudes, knows what women want and what men need. This week's feature story on the late-night scuz jockeys contained enough Wheeler wisdom to fill a chap book. Not all quotes made the cut, though, so here, for your reading pleasure, are Wheeler's reflections on "stripper rodeo" at a local strip club and his "Rusty Boner" character:
"You know, we rode a number of chicks there. That was cool. I liked to accomplish that. The joke behind that is, that when a guy like me or Fred riding a girl, it's like, 'Hey, maybe I can accomplish what I want.' It's not about anything other than I know this state is a very tough place for guys to get girls. Trust me. And when I [ride girls], the joke is that guys are supposed to say, 'Oh, man, if [Rusty Boner] can do that, maybe I can go up to that girl that I've been afraid to ask out and ask her out.'
"Believe it or not, there's a fucking heart behind a lot of the crazy shit that I do. Because these girls in this state, they have it made, even if they're a big giant pig. Now that blond chick [at Dandy Dan's] is not a pig, she's pretty decent. But there are some monsters out there. Those monsters can get pretty much any dude that they want — but the dudes in this state cannot.
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"So I'm out there trying to help men," he concludes. "They're like, 'If this dude can do it, there's no question that we can do it.'" --Jared Jacang Maher.