Dog crap, monkey abuse and other angry examples of dysfunctional Denver: Kenny Be's Sign Language

Angry scrawls are pinned and plastered to immovable objects all over town, creating an environment of screaming trees and wailing walls. Here are six signs to help you know if it's normal Denver disgruntlement -- or a symptom of more serious trouble.

Highland: Winning the jack-potty.
Highland: Winning the jack-potty.
Photo by Kenny Be

#1. Cry for help. Karen's offer in the picture above, of "$100 Reward for the name and identification of the person who doesn't pick up their small dog's crap," proves that she may be angry, but she is still lucid enough to put her money where her mouth is. Ick.

Page through below to see monkey abuse, a huge, puky duplex complex, and more!

West Highland: Terse puky duplex sign gets thrown up.
West Highland: Terse puky duplex sign gets thrown up.
Photo by Kenny Be

#2. Extreme Identification. Neighbors, like those above, who start to identify exclusively with one clique and "want to go to war with real estate developers" have crossed the line into passive-aggressive thinking.

Five Points: Five times no.
Five Points: Five times no.
Photo by Kenny Be

#3. Communication Blackout. When neighbors stop giving an explanation as to what is making them angry, they are likely to show signs of inexplicable demands, and come across as a complete NO-it-all.

West Barnum: A well-hung monkey.
West Barnum: A well-hung monkey.
Photo by Kenny Be

#4. Violence. It may seem obvious, but too many complacent residents miss this cue. A pattern of play-violent activities, such as hanging stuffed animals on tree limbs, as seen in the photo above, can foreshadow future toy-harming acts.

North Capitol Hill: 5p3LL ¢H3¢l
North Capitol Hill: 5p3LL ¢H3¢l
Photo by Kenny Be

#5. Dropping out. A sudden disengagement from sexting, bikini waxing, watching professional sports, etc., can lead to involvement in guerrilla street art. A neighbor who stops identifying with the mainstream may have no qualms about aborting such activities.

Congress Park: Happy cat's poopy play garden.
Congress Park: Happy cat's poopy play garden.
Photo by Kenny Be

#6. Substance Abuse. Especially combined with the above behaviors, invoking the children is the final gambit employed to shame neighbors into positive activities that they might otherwise avoid.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >