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Douglas Bruce story soon to become a kids' lit classic: Kenny Be's Fotochop Friday

Douglas Bruce on a picnic with his lawyer David Lane.
Douglas Bruce on a picnic with his lawyer David Lane.

Douglas Bruce, the California Democrat turned Colorado Republican, is the embodiment of the classic bad boy character of children's literature. Of course, he isn't trying to be bad, it's just something that's natural. Everyone and everything that comes into contact with him turns out bad, from mail-order brides to constitutional amendments. He hates government regulations and the taxes that pay for them. His story would be the classic fantasy tale of socially awkward, quixotic stumbler who chases after a white rabbit and falls into a constitutional loophole...

The bureaucrat rabbit is in no hurry to get to his government job.
The bureaucrat rabbit is in no hurry to get to his government job.

Chapter 1: Down the Rabbit Hole: Douglas is bored sitting in a Downtown park with his attorney, David Lane, when he notices a talking, clothed White Rabbit with a watch run past. The rabbit is muttering something about tax increases and specials fees, so Douglas follows the rabbit down into a constitutional loophole below...

Down, down down. Will the fall never come to an end?
Down, down down. Will the fall never come to an end?

Douglas just steps into the constitutional loophole, when suddenly he falls a long way to a curious City Hall with many locked doors of all sizes. He finds a small key to a door that is too small for him to fit through. But looking through a keyhole, he sees a beautiful court room filled with government workers. On a table next to the door, he discovers a cup labeled "AMENDMENT 60 & 61," the contents of which shrink the power of government to collect taxes. A cake with the words "PROPOSITION 101" on it causes his home and auto taxes to shrink rapidly. So encouraged, he devours both. Page down to see what happens next!

So he set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
So he set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

Much to his amazement, after swallowing all of Amendments 60 & 61 and Proposition 101, the size of government and his tax bill shrank so quickly that his huge head hit the ceiling and then quickly burst through the roof of the Denver City Hall. Dazed, but still standing, he looks at the ever-shrinking bureaucracy around him and vows to do whatever it takes to get the majority of Coloradans to swallow Amendments 60 & 61 and Proposition 101.

Next Week: Chapter 2: The Pool of Tears.