Eight Products We Wish Peyton Manning Would Endorse

Peyton Manning considers his options.
Peyton Manning considers his options.
Jeffrey Beall at Flickr

Peyton Manning will go down in history as one of the greatest Broncos quarterbacks, perhaps second only to John Elway himself. But the trouble is that we have to share him — with his original team, the Colts; with most of Indiana, which still loves him like a prodigal son; and with the rest of the world that has come to know and love him because of his prolific endorsement deals.

And although he already hawks quite a bit of product, he has the potential to push so much more. 

There are so many advertising worlds Peyton can conquer — so many more commercials we can enjoy, so many more jingles that can earworm their way into our collective consciousness, and so many more products that would make sense for Peyton to push with that Manning charm.

Peyton, might we suggest you start with these?

Peyton Manning, the new Marlon Perkins.
Peyton Manning, the new Marlon Perkins.
shannonpatrick17 at Flickr

8. Mutual of Omaha
Yeah, Manning would probably have to give up his super-popular Nationwide campaign, but, heck, Nationwide doesn’t have his now-proprietary “Omaha, Omaha” call in its name. Granted, this is a campaign that needs to happen sooner rather than later, as the public's collective memory (if not that of football fans) can be short. It’s a perfect fit...for a while, anyway.

That's Italian! Or Indianan, anyway.EXPAND
That's Italian! Or Indianan, anyway.
Mike Mozart at Flickr

7. Ragú
Peyton’s love of the chicken parmesan sandwich has very nearly become more memorable than the fact that he declared his passion for the parm during an insurance company's commercial. Why not parlay that into something actually connected with the chicken parm, like jarred sauce? Better yet, get Ragú, Tyson chicken, Oroweat bread and Tillamook cheese to all pitch in for one gigantic chicken-parm-you-taste-so-good spectacle of corporate synergy? Genius.

6. Robes
Is there a robe manufacturer for whom Peyton could pimp? He’s already wearing that thin little robe on all his DirectTV “Peyton on Sunday Morning” commercials, from his own home to the grocery store to a park bench. Slap the number 18 on the back and do it up in two color schemes (orange and blue and white and blue, of course) and watch those suckers sell like hotcakes (at least in a lot of the Central and Mountain time zones).

A sandwich is just a sandwich, but a Manningwich? Sort of disturbing.EXPAND
A sandwich is just a sandwich, but a Manningwich? Sort of disturbing.
Homejobsbymom.com at Flickr

5. Manwich
Considering his healthy base of sandwich-related expertise, Peyton could call this the Manningwich. Say it with us, Peyton: "Supeer-i-or to chicken parm." 

Continue to keep counting down our four top picks for products we wish Peyton Manning would endorse.

 

4. Orange Crush
That’s the term for a legendary 3-4 Broncos defense back in the late ’70s and early ’80s, coined by sportswriter Woody Paige and nearly trademarked by the Broncos this year until their attempt was delayed by the soft-drink manufacturer. You're right: Peyton didn’t play on the Denver D. But it was the current vaunted defense that won the Broncos the Super Bowl last year, in a season where Peyton's arm wasn't as strong as it once was. So imagine this: Peyton flashing his Super Bowl 50 ring for the camera, grinning that Manning smile and saying very honestly: “Orange Crush? It’s what won me this.”

3. Tums or Rolaids...Whoever Hires Him First
In the Super Bowl season of 2015-16, if there wasn’t an uptick in sales of acid reducers every Sunday in the greater Denver metro area, I’ll eat a Manningwich.

2. Rocky’s Autos
Elway paved the way for quarterbacks going into car sales, so Peyton should have no problem representing these guys. Big, big bonus: We’d never have to see the likes of the Shagman and whatever failed comedian Rocky's Autos features in its ad campaigns on our TVs ever again.

And then comes the eventual Viagra commercial...EXPAND
And then comes the eventual Viagra commercial...
Thad Zadjowicz at Flickr

1. Condoms
With Peyton’s aw-shucks image, this might be a stretch, but stay with me here: The catchphrase could be “Trust me fellas…this is one pass you don’t always want to complete.” Wink!


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >