Trying to kill someone is no laughing matter, and attempted murder goes way beyond the term "shmuck." But 22-year-old Emmanuel Theus-Roberts, sentenced today to eighty years in jail for shooting a cab driver, deserves to be called lots of names.
In June 2010, Theus-Roberts got a cab and then rode around in it for more than an hour before asking to be dropped off at 33rd Avenue and Williams Street. When the cab driver tried to collect his money, though, Theus-Roberts came up $10 short.
He supposedly went to get some more cash, but instead returned to the taxi with a gun and demanded his money back. After receiving his refund, Theus-Roberts then shot the driver in the chest.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
So Theus-Roberts didn't just shoot and badly wound the driver. He made him drive around for an hour beforehand, racking up the cost of the fare.
Theus-Roberts was convicted in October of attempted first-degree murder and assault, aggravated robbery. And today, we convict him of shmuckery more than worthy of several decades behind bars.
More from our Shmuck archive: "Hunters who can't tell an elk from a moose are shmucks."