Fee increase for license plates may raise shed tax by $159,000: Kenny Be's Yard Arteology
Yard Arteology: The study of neighbors through their lawn decorations...
Figure 82a. Westwood: Outdoor kitchen stocked with plenty of plates.
The phase "Everything but the kitchen sink" can not be used to describe the yard-art style shown in the photo above, because the display features a kitchen sink on sawhorses, as seen between the two trees to the right. Outdoor kitchens are the kind of amenity, along with the reflecting pool and the tool shed covered with over 500 license plates, that attract the attention of tax assessors and water-bill collectors looking for new revenue streams...
Figure 82b. Westwood: Violations may include yard decorating with an expired artistic license.
Installing a kitchen sink in the yard suggests that this home owner has discovered that he can attach the garden hose to make the faucet fully operational. The placement of the sink in full midday sun insinuates that the basins are filled with water and heated for use in washing dishes. The placement of a nearby bucket hints that the waste water is captured to irrigate the lawn and gardens.
Covering the garden shed with expired license plates and metal street signs suggests that the residents of this home have discovered the perfect siding material to withstand Colorado's heat and hail (and it never needs painting)! The whitewashed electric cable spool screened in lattice panels to the left of the reflecting pool further demonstrates the belief that nothing should go to waste.
The yard pictured above would have gone unnoticed for several decades, but recent reports of falling revenues for the Department of Motor Vehicles and Denver Water hint that bureaucrats will be looking into tax increases for the creative repurposing of their waste.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.
- Remembering the Sand Creek Massacre: The Past Is Always With Us
Wed., Dec. 9, 7:00pm
Wed., Dec. 9, 8:00pm
Fri., Dec. 11, 7:00pm
Fri., Dec. 11, 7:35pm
- Stoner Hill Is a Refuge for Young Homeless and an Eyesore for Neighbors
- Daniel Stetzel, Sentenced for Killing Mom Over Cigarettes, Wasn't High Risk?