Flip-Flop Day and Other Useless (and Real) Summer "Holidays"
July 22 is Pi Approximation Day — because when it comes to Pi, there's no need for precision...?
plenty.r. at Flickr
The politics of holiday celebrations are, in a word, weird. Who in the world decides that this day or that day is a holiday of some sort? Barring religious, traditional or lunar reasons for a holiday’s placement on the Western calendar, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for any of it. We touched on this earlier in the month, when our latest Tips for Transplants mentioned that June — not July, for some reason — is Fireworks Safety Month. But since then, it’s come to our attention that there are a lot of dubious holidays that dare us to recognize them.
Here are ten days on the holiday calendar that we invite all our readers to join us in ignoring completely.
1. Flip-Flop Day, June 16
The holiday that almost nobody celebrates on June 16 isn’t about political wishy-washiness or indecisiveness in general. Rather, it’s about the "shoe" that takes over every summer and shares your foot sweat with the rest of the world instead of encasing it safely inside a sock and shoe like society should demand. The last thing our casual-obsessed nation needs is a holiday that celebrates wearing the foot equivalent of thong underwear.
2. Sauntering Day, June 19
Invented in 1979 as a balk to a then-hot craze, jogging, Sauntering Day was an invitation — or maybe an excuse?— to take it easy. (Not that the 1970s needed any more reason to take it easy.) Sauntering Day invites us all to slow down — you know, like we can every day, if we choose to. And, honestly, if you’re one to saunter, you don’t need an excuse. Long live not jogging!
3. Let It Go Day, June 23
If you’re thinking to yourself, “Hey, summer doesn’t officially start until Tuesday, June 20, so technically, the first two entries on this list aren’t summer holidays at all,” then June 23 is the day for you. Just let it go. (And, no, this day has nothing to do with Disney, Frozen or whatever name John Travolta is currently using for Idina Menzel.)
4. Please Take My Children to Work Day, June 26
Also known as “Please Just Take My Children, Take Them Anywhere, Because I Think I’m Losing My Mind, and I Seriously Need a Day of Complete Quiet.” Let’s not pretend that the work is the important factor here. Take them to the mall, take them to Elitch’s, take them swimming — just take them. For the whole day. Or for the weekend, maybe? I can pack a bag.
I like my independence grilled and topped with ketchup, mustard, pickle and onion.
Sh4rp_i at Flickr
5. Independence From Meat Day, July 4
The concurrence of this day with the number-one day for outdoor BBQing is no accident. A better name for this holiday would be “Fuck You, Hot Dogs” Day.
Keep reading for more ridiculous holidays.Next Page