Kudos to sharp-eyed Denver Post writer David Harsanyi for spotting a hilarious news clip from Channel 31. In it, anchor Ron Zappolo almost but doesn't quite manage not to laugh while reading a story about a naked home intruder in Oregon named Michael Dick, who was arrested after an 88-year-old woman responded to his flagrant display by clamping his testicles. Click "More" to see the hilarious results, which will either give you a newfound respect for the challenges inherent in being a big-time news reader or prompt a fresh round of Dick jokes. Paging Lewis and Floorwax. -- Michael Roberts