The study of neighbors through their gay lawn decorations ...
The two female figures pictured in the foreground of the image to the right (click to enlarge) are forever locked with outstretched lips to symbolize a lesbian's languorous longing for love. We know that these are lesbians because the yard artist has perfectly depicted each of the sculptures wearing a version of the classic lesbian mullet hairdo. The background sculpture of a woman sitting with spread legs while boldly holding her unevenly sized breasts is further evidence that this is the proud home of two sovereign females.
More gay yard art exists across the city ...
Figure 66b: Furry little nut hugger in West Wash Park.
Homosexuals have a well deserved-reputation for good grooming and impeccable taste. But they also love to get high and go to garage sales. The yard art pictured above is the result when these characteristics are combined. The seemingly out-of-place cartoonish squirrel reveals that this tidy home's inhabitant loves furry little creatures who have a fondness for hugging nuts.
Figure 66c: This house in Baker puts the home back into homosexual.
The lavender trim and the rainbow-striped shingles give the home pictured above a hint of homosexuality. We can only hope that the gays who live here string up a few strands of festive pink-triangle lights before their guests arrive for Pride Weekend brunch. It is the holiest of all gay holidays and requires strict adherence to a higher doctrine of fabulousness.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Figure 66d: Somewhere over the rainbow in Berkekey.
The rainbow is the symbol that gay people use demonstrate their tolerance of all people, as well as to flaunt the fact that they are so much more colorful than heterosexuals. It is also a symbol that is universally loved by grandmothers. The silk plants and the two-tone foundation paint scheme suggest that his may be a grandma's house, and that is why it is all the more important to include it in the gay pride parade of homes.