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Rather than embellishing this story, plucked from the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel police blotter, we're just going to let it speak for itself. The item reads: "A man in the 500 block of 29 3/8 Road called Mesa County sheriff's deputies on Sunday to report his roommate was trying to steal his hot tub. The issue was determined to be civil in nature and both sides were told to call their attorneys."
And a chiropractor.