GOP Presidential Debate Could Drive You to Drink — and Here's How to Do It!
The Republican presidential candidates will take the stage at the University of Colorado Boulder at 6 p.m. MST tonight for the third in their series of debates, this one titled "Your Money, Your Vote." We know you won't be inside the 11,000-seat Coors Events Arena, because very few tickets were given out — and those were carefully monitored. But if you're watching the action at home, it will be much easier to play our 2015 Boulder Debate Drinking Game. Here are the ten rules:
1) Drink a craft beer anytime a commentator mentions that Boulder is "liberal."
2) Chug a Bud anytime a candidate says "working-class."
3) Take a sip from a Pink Lady whenever the name "Hillary Clinton" is uttered. (You'll need to pace yourself on this one; the specter of the Democratic frontrunner is bound to appear often.)
4) Slurp some sacramental wine whenever a candidate touts his Christian values.
5) Do a shot of tequila whenever immigration comes up. No salt or lime chaser, though: It needs to hurt.
6) Clink an empty bottle of vodka whenever Donald Trump interrupts someone. (Although Trump has never been a drinker — his older brother, Fred, was an alcoholic who warned him against the stuff — he did launch his own brand of vodka in 2006. But Trump Vodka dried up in 2011 because of poor sales.)
7) Down some NoDoz when Ben Carson starts talking.
8) Do a shot of made-in-the-USA bourbon if a candidate brings up "American exceptionalism."
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9) Take a hit of Colorado-grown cannabis if the legalization of marijuana in this state is mentioned.
10) And don't worry about this combination of cocktails making you sick. What you hear during the debate will have you puking long before the booze gets to you. Fortunately, there should be plenty of white bread around.
Hillary Clinton wins the straw poll.
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