One of the most important rules of Dude Etiquette is: Don't bother a guy when he's taking a leak. Even if you have a beef with him, it can wait until he's done draining the lizard, for Christ's sake.
Grant Tupper is accused of breaking this rule in a big way, and the wounds to his face seen in his booking photo aren't the only possible repercussions. He's due in court this morning after being arrested for stabbing man who'd been using the urinal.
According to the Fort Collins Coloradoan, the incident took place around 11 p.m. last Friday, September 12, at Loveland's Boot Grill, a watering hole with the excellent address of 4164 Clydesdale Parkway. Make mine a Budweiser!
Upon their arrival, officers with the Loveland Police Department spoke with a witness who says Tupper was in a Boot Grill bathroom when he got into it with "a stranger who was using a urinal" subsequently identified as Cole Hickert, police records say.
The confrontation went from the verbal to the physical -- really physical. The witness told cops he saw Tupper pull out a knife and stab Hickert in the abdomen not once but twice.
Even the profuse amount of blood gushing out of Hickert as a result of these incisions didn't result in a cessation of hostilities. The fight is said to have ended only after bouncers intervened.
Afterward, both men were taken to a nearby hospital, where Hickert (who's expected to make a complete recovery) told investigators he didn't know Tupper and had nary a clue as to why he decided to perforate him.
One possible rationale from the Coloradoan piece: "Witnesses at the bar reported that Tupper appeared to be very intoxicated and had been warned repeatedly by the bartender and other patrons to ease up or he would be asked to leave."
We're guessing the barkeep didn't add, "You only have to leave as far as the men's room -- and if you want to interrupt someone taking a piss, feel free." But taking things that one step too far is an absolute requirement for a Schmuck of the Week.
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SHOW ME HOW
Here's a look at Tupper's full-size booking photo.