Sure, hands are useful. You can pick up things with them, scratch an itch, lotsa stuff. But if you're tired of clipping your nails or applying lotion when they're chapped, here's a good way to get rid of them: hand-feed fast-food to bears. Granted, this method isn't surefire, since at least two people being sought by police for doing still have all their digits... as far as we know.
According to the Vail Daily, cops in Eagle received several phone calls on Wednesday from locals who saw a female black bear and three cubs rooting around in trash from a dumpster at the town's Burger King -- a sight that had attracted a small group of looky-loos, some of whom apparently wanted to upgrade the menu. Witnesses told an officer they'd seen at least two people buying hamburgers and feeding them to Mama Bear and her brood by hand.
How's Colorado Division of Wlidlife Northwest Regional Manager Ron Velarde describe this decision? As "an extraordinary example of stupid and irresponsible behavior by people." He told the Daily, "Because of their reckless actions, the sow and the cubs now know that people mean food. This dramatically increases the likelihood that these bears will get into trouble in the future and have to be put down."
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Not to mention that they may develop a taste for finger food -- of the still-attached-to-a-person variety. Which might go something like this...
Anyone who knows the identity of these geniuses is encouraged to call the DOW's Glenwood Springs office at 970-947-2920. And if you don't know them, keep a watch out for anyone screaming and waving around bloody stumps.
More from our Follow That Story archive: "Wildlife bridge contest: Winning West Vail Pass entry "elegant" yet practical."