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Highland walking tour reveals strange changes: Kenny Be's Big Picture

Everyone gets screwed in Lower Highland.
Everyone gets screwed in Lower Highland.

Organized by the Discovery Series committee of the Urban Land Institute's Young Leaders Group, today's Highland walking tour will feature the architects, developers and builders who are causing the strange changes in an older neighborhood being replaced by the new...

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The Urban Land Institute claims their LoHi walking tour will reveal the secrets of success in the Highlands neighborhood. The event starts at 2:00 P.M. at Little Man Ice Cream, 2620 16t Street. Featured speakers will include developers Paul Tamburello and Bruce Heitler, who will be patting themselves on their backs and collecting the phone numbers of future buyers.

What the walking tour won't show is how bad the current home building designs are for old and new residents alike. As captured in the photograph above, new homes fill the lot and places the deck on the roof. The gardens and porches of older homes allowed neighbors street-level outdoor activity space to see and be seen. The new homes are not conducive to such antiquated human social interaction.

Below, the walking tour should focus on all that the Highland neighborhood is losing...

 

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Click image to enlarge.

The home in the center of the photograph above caught fire on July 4, 2007. Fireworks landing on a cedar roof sparked a blaze that ignited a homeowner's worst nightmare. The charred roof was removed immediately after the fire, but the insurance company would only approve a lower roofline than the original pitch. Repair work stopped on the home four years ago.

The plastic covering the roof to keep out the elements has been blown off and replaced repeatedly.The shell of a home is a fitting sign of a hot zip code. Hopefully it will remain standing as long as the owner, a well-connected Denver designer, and his insurance company take to agree on an appropriate value.

Below, the alleys of LoHi tell no lies...

 

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Click image to enlarge.

The timid graffiti pictured above is scrawled on the metal cable protector of a Lower Highland alley phone pole. White people are called to task for their uncanny ability to make life miserable for everybody. This petite protest proves that a wee bit of racism smolders behind the high-end green-built townhomes. Below, strange experiments are being conducted in other Lower Highland Alleys...

 

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Click image to enlarge.

Without a doubt, the alleys of Lower Highland make for the most interesting walking tours than the real estate developments. In the center of the picture above, a large horseshoe-shaped object points to the sky. Whether this is a giant symbol of good luck or a magnet to pull UFOs from the sky, it is the kind of thing that can't be seen while attending a cocktail reception and raffle at Linger. Below, the sun sets on Olinger...

 

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Click image to enlarge.

The picture above was taken on September 1, 2010, while the Olinger Mortuary's hearse garage was being transformed into Denver's most trendy rooftop restaurant.

More from our Kenny Be/Comics archive: "Doug Lamborn's Tar Baby race paste sticks longer: Kenny Be's back-to-school supplies."


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