How could Face the State's "Hottest Politicos" list not include Westword crush object Morgan Carroll?
Face the State, the feisty conservative political blog and repeated Westword Best of Denver winner, took a break from its liberal-bashing hijinks long enough to come out with its 2009 list of "Hottest Politicos." We congratulate FTS for its impartiality: The 17 winners include Republicans like Nancy Spence, Democrats like Kevin Neimond and even lovable Libertarian Dave Williams. But we have to say, ahem, that most of these folks wouldn't make an auto body-shop wall calendar. Yes, we know this is supposed to be about "hot political careers" as much as it is "hot bods," but come on -- do you think Maxim comes up with its "hottest bartenders" lists by actually considering how those chicks sling mojitos? If nothing else, there was one massive, glaring omission from Face the State's list: Morgan Carroll.
It's possible that Carroll, a Democratic state senator from Aurora, declined to participate in the affair. If not, Face the State's staffers must have ice in their veins. As you may have guessed, we sorta have a bit of a crush on Senator Carroll. After all, she's really, really attractive. The sort of attractive that would make you uncontrollably self-conscious and uncomfortable if she were to ever come up and talk to you, resulting in you wanting to say something mind-shatteringly insightful and witty and sensitive but actually just mumbling about the weather while dribbling coffee on your pants. Not only that, but she's a world traveler, a horse-back rider, a trained dancer and disciple of kung fu. That's right, kung fu. It's like she's one of those super-smart badass ladies who co-star in Jackie Chan movies. She'd be the witty, foxy politician who, when faced with forces of evil beyond her control, must resort to power plays of a different sort -- LEGISLATING WITH HER FISTS!
She's even got the guts to go against the grain, standing up against her own party to support a health care reform bill and, more recently, to help shoot down the Dream Act. Sure, some may quibble with her decisions on these matters, but here's some advice: Don't quibble too loudly. The last thing you want is to experience this comely politico's kung-fu grip.