How much does it cost to do other things with Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin.

The pricetags associated with Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's October 4 morning fundraiser in Centennial are mighty steep: $1,000 to attend the breakfast, $2,500 per person to take a photo with her and $25,000 to be part of a "VIP coffee" klatch. But that leaves out a lot of other possible moneymaking prospects. So what would it cost to do other stuff with Palin? And by "other stuff," we don't mean the sort of things touted on (a site that's down at this writing). We're talking about breakfast stuff -- for the most part. Here's what we think the GOP faithful would be willing to pay for ten other opportunities:

Engaging in a long, lingering handshake -- $30,000

Ushering Palin to a table with your hand in the middle of her back -- $40,000

Wiping off Palin's seat -- $50,000

Taking a big whiff of Palin's hairspray and perfume as she sits down -- $60,000

Putting a napkin in Palin's lap -- $70,000

Listening to Palin's Rice Krispies snap, crackle and pop -- $80,000

Wiping Palin's full, pouting lips -- $100,000

Breaking Palin's eggs -- $125,000

Passing Palin the cream -- $150,000

Sharing a sticky bun -- Priceless

-- Michael Roberts

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