Indoor fireworks for all you shut ins
Everyone loves fireworks (right?), but not everyone loves the hassles inherent in enjoying them. Maybe you're an agoraphobe, or braving crowds of patriotic drunks sounds like just a little too much effort -- or maybe you just got so high that there's no way you can deal with people right now (man). And since the rules and regulations concerning what you can set off and where are so damn confusing, it's not like you really have many easy options for a backyard celebration. Besides, if you're too high to deal with people (man), do you really want to be screwing with recreational incendiaries?
As usual, technology comes to the rescue. Phantom Fireworks, a traditional fireworks company, feels your pain, and to ease your burden, they offer an online, interactive fireworks display for your pleasure. You get five different fireowrks in four different colors, and you can totally control them while a loop of obnoxious patriotic music blares at you! And for added verisimilitude, you can shoot the fireworks over a variety of cityscapes -- including our beloved Denver. So it will be just like real fireworks, only without the hassle! Except not really. It's fairly lame action. But hey, if you're that high, it will probably amuse you for hours. Happy Fourth of July.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Westword's biggest stories.