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The job: Undercover Operative
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Pay: $50 an hour; All expenses paid, including travel time, parking, liquor, food, tips, and report preparation time.
Qualifications: "Witty, smart, attractive well put together female between the age of 32 and 45."
Responsibilities: A private investigator is looking for a woman to help investigate a "person of interest and his employment issues." The work environment is a "plush downtown restaurant/lounge. Candidate must be willing to dress the 'part' for this assignment to fit in. Candidate will not at any time be in a dangerous or compromising position. Candidate must be able to converse on a wide range of topics (nothing specific) and be very discreet -- no drama, jealous husbands, boyfriends, significant others etc. Final applicants will be put through a rigid background investigation.
What it doesn't say: A lot -- as in, "Hey cougar, you're already getting sloshed during the day, skeezing martinis off younger, drunker guys from out of town. Why not get paid for it?" Or it could be this: "You're a hard-boiled dame with brains. You've got gams up to here and more curves than a country road. And if you end up bedding the 'person of interest,' that's your beef not ours -- just make sure you get the goods first."