Kari Aaeng, Aspen Stealth Schmuck, Blew a .297 in Eighth DUI

A Facebook photo of Kari Aaeng. Additional images and more below.
A Facebook photo of Kari Aaeng. Additional images and more below.
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Today's Schmuck of the Week lesson: Schmuckiness can be stealthy.

Take Kari Aaeng, a 54-year-old from Aspen who hardly fits the image of a chronic drunk driver.

Which is precisely what she is.

Aaeng was recently arrested for driving while just shy of four times over the legal intoxication limit.

Moreover, she's swerved down this road before. The bust marked her eighth — yes, eighth — DUI.

The gallery of photos Aaeng shares on her Facebook page presents her as healthy and active. Here's one example....

Kari Aaeng.
Kari Aaeng.
Facebook

...and another:

Kari Aaeng.
Kari Aaeng.
Facebook

As for her profession, court documents accessed by the Aspen Times identify her as a ski instructor.

Presumably, then, she's great at navigating moguls and other mountain terrain.

But roadways are another matter.

About 11:46 a.m. on February 19, the Times reports, police in Aspen received a call from a sixteen-year-old former family member of Aaeng's, who said she had whacked him in the face — and he did indeed have a cut under his eye.

Shortly thereafter, Aaeng was spotted driving near Koch Lumber Park, an area captured in the following interactive graphic. If you have problems seeing the image, click "View on Google Maps."

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The officer in question trailed her for about a block before hitting the lights on his cruiser — but Aaeng, piloting a 1996 Acura, was apparently too blotto to notice. She kept driving, sort of (she seemed to be having problems shifting the car), before finally pulling over — and when she did, she seemed impatient to get on with the booking process.

"I did it," she's quoted as saying. "Just arrest me. Come on."

Later, after telling the officer she'd consumed a half-pint of vodka (or maybe a full pint), she added, "I think I'm going to go to prison... I've had four DUIs."

Her math turns out to have been suspect, too. The Times notes that she had been busted for drunk-driving-related offenses at least seven times previously. And after she blew a .297 in a breathalyzer test, she added one more. 

She's become the second person charged with felony DUI in Pitkin County since a law change last year — and that's not to mention other counts she's facing, including assault and child abuse.

Somehow, though, she still seems pretty put together in her latest mug shot, on view below. It's more proof you can't always tell a Schmuck by her cover.

Kari Aaeng.
Kari Aaeng.
Aspen Police Department

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