Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario: Mysterious Colorado cattle mutilations explained
Ufologists want to claim that aliens are cherry-picking livestock's udders, tongues and organs. However, more plausible theories do exist...
...Desperate and unemployed persons who can no longer afford to buy packaged hot dogs are harvesting the ingredients to make their own.
Look below for more mutilation!
...G.O.P. Party Chairman DickWad Hams has been stealing bovine organs to prepare a magic elixir he uses to rejuvenate the state Republican brain trust.
...The ranchers who notified the authorities about the mutilations are actually in the midst of negotiating a reality-TV program development deal.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.
- Reader: Landlords Are Overcharging Marijuana Businesses Because They Can
Thu., Sep. 3, 7:00pm
Fri., Sep. 4, 7:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:30pm
- Remembering the Denver Wax Museum and Nine More Long-Gone Local Landmarks
- Dear Mexican: Was Jimi Hendrix Part Mexican?