Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario: (Not) seen at the Denver Auto Show
The 2009 Double Hummer
Completely redesigned with U.S taxpayer auto-bailout money, the new Double Hummer will be marketed as the perfect four-wheel-drive vehicle for American Interstate highway driving. With a 116-inch wheelbase, the double-wide track allows all 280 cubic feet of cargo space to be distributed in a single, six-passenger front seat. The width also allows the driver to control two lanes of traffic instead of one. The sixteen-cylinder engine is fueled by burning a blend of all the items listed on fast-food restaurant dollar menus, which is cheaper than the cost of gas.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.
- Larry Stevenson, Mayor's Ex-Best Man, Gets Wrist Slap After Bribery Charge
Fri., Sep. 4, 7:00pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 5, 12:30pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 7:30pm
- Karla Ceballos Accused of Letting Her Baby Drown While She Cleaned Kitchen
- Ten Often Critical "You Know You're From Denver When" Reader Punchlines