Top Ten Reasons for David Letterman to Call Colorado and Banter With KYGO DJs:

10. Because Regis Philbin's phone was busy.

9. Because he wanted to make sure his old stalker, Western Slope resident Margaret Ray, had stayed dead after committing suicide back in 1998. (She knelt in front of an oncoming train outside of Delta.)



8. Because...

Oh, hell. After months of futile attempts to come up with a single good reason why the CBS star would regularly call Denver's country-radio powerhouse to give its on-air talent updates on his Top Ten lists, we finally contacted the station -- and discovered that we weren't the only dopes in town. No, Paul Donovan, one of KYGO's top jocks, also thought the real Letterman was getting up early after his late-night gig just to chat with the morning-show crew of Kelly Ford, Jonathan Wilde and Mudflap.

Donovan learned the sad truth when he asked Ford to give Off Limits the lowdown: KYGO's TV Dave is actually a professional voice guy from the American Comedy Network.

"It's not the real David Letterman?" Donovan asked Ford.

No, and here's how you can tell the difference: The KYGO Letterman "is better, I think," says Ford. "His top-ten list is funnier."

"How long have I worked here?" Donovan asked. "I feel like a fool."

At last, a Top Reason for David Letterman to Call Colorado and Banter With KYGO DJs: Because we're so celebrity-starved in this cowtown, this Sally Field of cities ("He likes me, he really likes me"), that we'll fall for anything.

Having a ball, wish you were here: Exhibit A: The Denver Kickball Coalition also got duped last week, showing up at Sonny Lawson Park for a midnight game of kickball against the Real World cast. The TV stars didn't appear (big surprise), but more than 200 other people did, making for one hell of a hipster block party, complete with scooters, bikes, beer and more beer.

And The Real World's forfeit was Denver's gain, since it inspired an impromptu bout between the city's dueling kickball leagues: the DKBC, with its DIY ethos and mismatched, screen-printed uniforms; and PlayCoed, with its corporate-sponsor-bedazzled T-shirts. By the time the battle for world domination was called on account of cops (after a mere 28 minutes), the DKBC had spanked the competition 4-0.

That one was for you, Joe Phillips. Denver's heart still belongs to Phillips, the founder of the DKBC who continues to go by the "Commish" nickname, even though he now lives in Los Angeles. And Phillips's heart still belongs to Denver, judging from his superhero cartoon blog, "The Denver Defenders."

And now Marc Hughes, Phillips's hand-chosen heir to the Commish crown, is stepping down, too. After this weekend's All-Star festivities conclude on Sunday, June 25, Hughes will officially resign his position. "I'm not quitting kickball or abandoning the league," he says. "I just need some de-stress time in my life."

Hughes has a few people in mind to take on the job, which involves everything from organizing teams and conducting the official draft to planning social events and fundraisers (there are a lot) and overseeing the eighteen weeks of Sunday games.

Sometimes, the world can be a little too real.

Windy city: Not content with driving around town in a car that's converted to run on old cooking oil, belching potato-scented fumes, Marilyn Megenity is creating Denver's first "wind energy conversion system" this summer. "I'm going to make electricity," says Megenity, everyone's favorite enviro-hippie.

The Board of Adjustment for Zoning Appeals unanimously approved her request last week, paving the way for Megenity to build two twelve-foot-tall windmills on the roof of the Mercury Cafe, her restaurant/gathering place at 2199 California Street. She'll also install solar panels and has hopes of expanding her windmill farm in the future.

"Bless the people who worked on the energy initiative we all approved, because now Xcel has to rebate some of the money you put into the installation," she says. "I want everyone to have windmills and solar panels. If we had different budget priorities in our country, we all could."

Scene and herd: "I had so much fun in Colorado," Bill Clinton told Westword editor Patricia Calhoun before he headed on stage to address last Saturday's annual meeting of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies in Little Rock -- and to leave her wondering just what, exactly, was fun about speaking at a Columbine memorial fundraising event. As it turns out, though, the Columbine gig was just one of Clinton's appearances in Denver last Friday; he also picked up a rumored quarter-million bucks for speaking to a national convention of apartment-complex owners ("I told them to build green," the former president said), served as the star attraction at two Democratic fundraisers, surprised a meeting of Denver Public Schools principals -- and then surprised diners at Strings that night when he joined a dinner party upstairs. Fun on the run.


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