As a Grand Junction native, I can assure you that the Western Slope town has never been known as the Naked City -- and it won't now, despite the exploits of Leslie Lind, who allegedly committed a robbery while displaying his moneymaker and a lot more.
The reason? Lind kept his socks on.
According to an arrest affidavit cited by KKCO-TV, Lind, 32, strolled into Last Chance Liquors -- a GJ staple for generations! -- on Monday afternoon displaying the vast majority of his exterior. He promptly grabbed a bottle of liquor, plus cigarettes and (says KJCT-TV) some rolling papers -- an acquisition whose importance would become clear soon.
Presumably because his birthday suit didn't come with pockets, Lind is then said to have split without paying.
The store clerk called the cops, who didn't have a tough time finding someone who matched the thief's description. As they took Lind into custody, they reportedly discovered that he also packed a glass pipe and a bag of weed.
Which he didn't have anyplace especially comfortable to hide.
Due to what KKCO delicately describes as Lind's "altered mental state," he was taken not to the jail, but to a nearby hospital. Upon their arrival, officers removed his handcuffs, prompting him to take a swing at them. Shockingly, he missed.
Lind was subsequently charged with shoplifting, possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, second degree assault on a peace officer and, inevitably, public indecency.
Although the tops of his feet were definitely not guilty.
Look below to see a screen capture of Lind's mug shot -- which, fortunately or unfortunately, finds him wearing a shirt -- as well as the KKCO report.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Click here to follow and like the Michael Roberts/Westword Facebook page.
More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Richard Troupe charged with dropping trou at Burger King, asking staffer to hold his Whopper."