No Kidding

Letters to the Editor

Candygram: Regarding Julie Jargon's "Knock, Knock, Who's There?" in the October 24 issue:

So, what's the next step? What do you do about a "business" whose owners are all but invisible? I've had the same experience in my neighborhood -- kids I don't recognize ringing my bell after dark to sell me candy with a memorized speech about supporting an organization they have little to no real information about. I ask them where they're from and if their parents know where they are. The kids are always from outside my neighborhood and always answer my inquiry with a rehearsed-sounding "I have my parents' permission." I decline to buy anything and send them on their way, telling them to be careful, cautioning that they shouldn't be out after dark and that there are sickos out there.

From this article, it sounds like parents are giving permission for their children to be working after dark in strange neighborhoods, often underdressed for the weather. And if the parents don't care, what can we do?

Michelle M. Baldwin
via the Internet

Van overboard: Just some 411 for you after reading your story about the kids selling candy. I work at an unnamed dealership here in Denver (football, anyone?). One of the guys who used to work sales there said he sold the white fourteen-passenger van -- for cash -- to the lady mentioned in the story. He even saw her garage full of candy. So as far as her denying that she's part of the organization, I call B.S. on that. If it sounds like a scam -- well, you know the rest.

Don Gassaway
via the Internet

Unreal Estate

Lofty dreams: Julie Dunn musta dug deeeep into her resources file to find real-estate agent Dee Chirafisi for "Lofts of Luck," in the October 10 issue. What a sterling example of the industry's best and brightest, noting that there's "a lot more inventory" of lower downtown lofts than ever before. Gee, ya think? Given that before about 1992, there were, let's see, uh, none down there? Of course, that's not going to stop some reporter from handing a nit like this legitimacy by quoting her.

And does anybody else feel carpetbagger Chris Sword's pain? The poor baby got outta Dodge with a paltry $150 grand in profit from four emotionally draining years of watching his LoDo loft's value rocket to altitudes that leave anyone who was here circa 1973-'95 gasping. Anyone care to guess what generation this whiny crybaby falls into?

For a decade, they've been building and redeveloping oh-so-tony lofts down there like there's no tomorrow -- or at least none where real estate can come to a screeching halt. The fact that employment has slipped big time (ya can't sell houses to jobless people, Sparky!) and real-estate values have flatlined hasn't slowed the pace of home and some commercial building across the metro area. If they didn't find it beneath them, all those unemployed Gen X geeks could go down there and earn the wages of sin framing and rocking new lofts. Complementing this overbuilding are real-estate agents and developers (can you say "St. Dana"?) who are still partying like it's 1999, trust-fund babies and dot-com owners who don't understand that supply and demand can actually impact price (gasp!). And, of course, there's always our gutless local media that absolutely refuses to report the truth, lest Kaufman or Richmond pull their ads.

Anybody who remembers the blocks of abandoned Aurora condos and townhomes and the two or three VA and HUD repo homes per block in the 1980s can join me in a group "Told ya so!" when we start seeing the same thing downtown. The rest of you can just gape in puzzled ignorance.

JM Schell

Ad Furthermore

The fright stuff: Regarding Michael Roberts's "Ad Attack," in the October 24 issue:

The problem with the anti-#31 TV commercials only begins with the images of wary-looking waifs. Real children in real life are drawn to TV commercials using children, and so they pay attention to these ads. The ads are helpfully written in very simple language, as well as being ambiguous and misleading. So children can hear "force children" as well as read "harm schools" and "harm children."

This can be very frightening to children. Was that the intent?

Joanne Marie Roll

Out at Third

Party hearty: The following is my response to Patricia Calhoun's "Mr. Stanley, We Presume," in the October 17 issue. Westword's efforts to date to discredit the Stanley campaign are once again beneath the journalistic standard you should be aspiring to. Assassinating Rick Stanley's character with the offending article, however, is typical of the Denver media -- i.e., the Denver Post and the Rocky Mountain News. Destroying third-party campaigns appears to be the game of the week for your ilk. Trivializing my efforts to secure debate status for all candidates on the ballot in the U.S. Senate race betrays your ignorance of the real issues in the 2002 elections.

I filed this federal lawsuit for three reasons:

1) The debate sponsors that did not allow Stanley and Campbell into the debates violated FCC and FEC law.

2) They deprived the public of some very real viewpoints different from the Strickland/Allard fluff.

3) The public has a right to know what all the candidates think through the debate forums. When the media selects only two from each ballot, they are deciding for Colorado voters what the choices are. This is an obscene slap in the face to the American elective process.

Regarding the Ciruli poll numbers Calhoun proudly parceled out: The Ciruli poll and the other polls are funded by big-money interests -- i.e., the two major parties. They only poll registered Democrats and Republicans in these polls, and they do not mention my name. I still show up in the poll numbers, because there are many Democrats and Republicans who are going to vote for me. My strength lies in the one-million-strong unaffiliated registered voters, and, once again, no polls that have polled the unaffiliated have mentioned my name.

America needs legislators with the integrity, fortitude and pure common sense to return America to a constitutional government and return the government to the people. America's government has been overthrown from within, and the people have been asleep, assured by the politicians that they were guarding America's interests -- while they have been robbing America of its property, wages and will to resist those in government who are intent on stealing America's birthright.

For more information on Rick Stanley's campaign, go to

On November 6, one day after the election, I am spearheading the formation of a new, third super party. This party will hopefully combine all of the smaller third parties in Colorado and eventually the country into one large party, called the Unaffiliated. In Colorado, there are roughly one million unaffiliated registered voters and another one million people who, out of disgust with the two-party system, are not registered and do not vote. This will be our voter target for the new party. Americans will be happy to support a party made up of a large coalition of third parties, and unaffiliated and disgusted individuals will now have a large party to support with a platform based upon the U.S. Constitution, the Declaration of Independence and a federal government that stays out of Americans' lives. Americans can make their own individual decisions for their own lives, independent of the government.

Rick Stanley
Libertarian candidate for U.S. Senate

Putting on the Blitz

Better dead drunk than read: Regarding Michael Roberts's The Message in the October 17 issue:

Better Chuck Green blitzed than...

Larry Williams
via the Internet

Evolutionary War

Department of corrections: I first must congratulate David Holthouse for the hilarious "Book, Chapter and Verse," in the October 17 issue. I found it especially funny when all the kids were asked, "Is death good?" Truthfully, I would love to see a single child in the world who would say otherwise.

Moving on, however, I would like to compare B.C. Tours to smoking. Both of them hook kids when they're young; they both are a hard habit to break, and the two companies behind them use faulty logic to explain away damning scientific evidence.

Speaking of scientific evidence, I would like to see Scientifically Correct tours of all the Christian establishments around town. Bring groups of ten or fifteen to churches and Christian Science reading rooms, and explain the scientific fact of whatever they're saying. I'll bet whoever organizes something like that would have no lack of business.

Elijah M. Senn

Start making sense: I read the article on B.C. Tours and think it was very well-written. I don't know what David Holthouse believes personally, but I do know that what he said about Tyson Thorne seemed to be unbiased and very thoughtful.

I also am a Christian, and I believe in everything that Tyson does. Not because I grew up with it, or even because it is the popular thing to do, but because it is the only thing that makes sense in this world, and you can explain the Bible empirically and rationally. Nothing else makes sense.

Samuel James
via the Internet

You say you want an evolution? What a sad story! It's hard for me to believe that anyone can be that stupid and uninformed. The scariest part about it is that they are passing this kind of rubbish on to other children.

What do they say about germs that have evolved with resistance to modern drugs? What do they say about the finches in the Galapagos Islands that continue to evolve, as documented in The Beak of the Finch, by Jonathan Weiner?

I'm so disappointed that people like this are even given press coverage.

John C. Eastman II
North Kingstown, Rhode Island

Fossil fuel: I really enjoyed David Holthouse's "Book, Chapter and Verse." It was an appealing tale, very well-written. At the end, it mentioned B.C. Tours ignoring "little things, like the fossil record." Actually, the fossil record is the primary reason creation theory is making a comeback.

In Darwin's time, the lack of transitional forms was something he had to explain away as "due to the extreme imperfection of the fossil record." By 1976, the fossil record was many times larger, and "gaps" were a worse problem than ever. Furthermore, every creature appeared abruptly, lasted millions of years without much change, and then disappeared abruptly. Graduate paleontology students Niles Eldredge and Stephen Jay Gould published a book, Punctuated Equilibrium, describing their theory that evolution had occurred in small areas over relatively small periods (their guess was "thousands of years, a very short time" in evolution). "Stasis" in the fossil record was "the trade secret of paleontology." Their thesis was not the product of actually finding any wonderful little areas. Rather, it was the only hope that evolution could be true despite near-complete absence of evidence from the fossil record.

After release of this book, many highly trained biologists looked again at their own fields, and an avalanche of arguments and evidence for 24-hour creation and against evolution ensued. Today, creation science books are far better argued than the evolution ones; increasing numbers of biology Ph.D.s believe in creation, and the only way evolution can maintain its grip is by preventing students from being exposed to any counter-arguments -- especially the facts about the fossil record.

Esther M. Cook

Rock steady: What did the B.C. group say about doing a tour of Dinosaur Ridge? I'd like to hear the preposterous stories they'd come up with to explain away the structure, stratigraphy and fossils of the base of the Foothills. Were the Rockies raised sometime around 3,000 years ago?

Margaret Dodds
via the Internet

Belly up: Jonah was not swallowed by a whale. He was swallowed by a big fish. Whales do not eat meat: They have a filter in their mouths so they can just suck up brine and other small organisms.

For someone who takes in blind faith the word of God from mortal men who wrote the books with their mortal hands, you should read the actual stories and not just listen to the lore that ends up surrounding them all. The story of God is in everyone. The fact that a bunch of pompous men -- all men, mind you; God didn't care for women -- decided that they were able to channel God through them and write his word does not mean a thing. I do that every day. I feel God next to me while I breathe. Let me tell you, he would never tell you what to believe in. He would be happy to know that you believe anything at all, because that means that you are alive and he did his job today by having me talk to you.

Jonah Moon Gallon
Bakersfield, California

Sheehan's an Ash

Burn, baby, burn: Jason Sheehan is a culinary idiot!

I must strongly object to his review of Vesta Dipping Grill, "Burning Passion," in the October 24 issue. He obviously has no food knowledge or experience in this field at all! He took the liberty of shredding one of the best restaurants to ever be seen in Denver, only because his tastes are better suited to Burger King.

How he got his job is a mystery to all, and that review shows his lack of taste. I will no longer read Westword or support the existence of this fucking rag. Jason, you are an idiot!

Brent Rouse
via the Internet

Something's fishy: Jason Sheehan should be ashamed. There is no need for four-letter words in a dining column. Nor was it necessary to go on and on about some dumb fish. Jason should try the pork tenderloin sometime.

This is probably the worst column I have ever seen, and a real slap in the face to a great chef! As for the fish: Get over it.

Suzanne Hudson

Inane asylum: Jason Sheehan, your new dining-out guy, must for some unknown reason believe that we are interested in his inane, narcissistic (also disgusting and neurotic) meanderings. Please get rid of him.

Robin Morgan

A foul taste: What the fuck is up with Jason Sheehan's overuse of the word "fuck"? Jason, please do us all a favor and go get some so that you do not have to use it as a comma or a period in your sentences. I use the word just as much as the next guy, but two things I generally keep separate: While eating or talking about eating, I refrain from using scatological references or images of vomit and copulation on the restaurant eating-area floor.

How about giving us a friggin' break, pal? Believe me, that sounds more effective in person than on the page.

M.S. Mora
Atlanta, Georgia


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