"The Mouth That Roared," Luke Turf, January 18
Oh, goody! In last week's Off Limits, just what Denver needs: Another skin-and-bones hipster (who likes indie music, surprise! surprise!) and his hipster girlfriend sporting the haircut of a twelve-year-old boy are moving here. Who cares about Danny and Nina?
And if that isn't special enough, you offer up a cover story about a thug who continually makes poor decisions that land him behind bars -- like shooting someone, cheating on and then beating on his girlfriend, and assaulting almost anyone he doesn't like. He doesn't do drugs? What a saint! He wouldn't even have had his own retail space if Daddy didn't back him. Have you forgotten that not all of your readers are adolescents who idolize big bad rappers? Journalist, please!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lift some weights, eat some red meat, do a bong hit and listen to some Cephalic Carnage.
Man, "The Mouth That Roared" was an awesome story. I remember when I first started writing, seeing Yeyo going big everywhere on the south side! The crew he was in, later on, one of his closest friends from it would become one of mine -- big ups, MEDS!
Nando Mondragon is on some shit; I hope the best for him and his pops. Dragon Lowrider bikes was around forever, it seemed like, and I hope the homie Johnny Sine can help keep CC around. Good shit, Luke. Yet another interesting story of another interesting hometown celeb -- that is what we are, you know.
Worst-Case Scenario, Kenny Be, January 18
Kenny Be's cartoon about Horace Mann Middle School certainly got my attention. Exactly what was the purpose? Horace Mann has educated students for 75 years. Has Kenny Be ever been in the doors? If cruel rhetoric is necessary, aim at the adults, Mr. Be, not at our kids! Do not portray our kids as nasty-looking cartoon characters. It isn't funny! It didn't even get a smile when it came to our attention.
I teach those wonderful kids. Do you know that 90 percent of those kids are bilingual? Do you know that many of our kids are the primary caregivers for little brothers and sisters because their caring parents have to work two jobs? Do you understand that our kids are learning, caring, highly intelligent human beings who are above the average intelligence of dogs? No, Mr. Be.don't attack our kids.
We are working hard to save our school for future leaders of the northwest Denver community. What are you doing to help? What you do, Kenny Be, is make cartoons at the expense of our kids, and compare the teaching of dogs with what amazing learning goes on at Horace Mann daily! What you do, sir, is add to the pain.
Horace Mann Middle School
"Bus-ted," Adam Cayton-Holland, January 18
I moved here a bunch of months back, and this event was my introduction to winter in Denver. Some of the funniest things occur during a blizzard. Congrats on a great story, well done. I wonder what would have happened if this one guy had actually managed to rig the bus's speakers to play music
"Textiquette," Adam Cayton-Holland, January 11
I just read "Textiquette." To adapt to the verbiage Adam used, I was LMAO. Great stuff! His depiction of predictive texting was spot-on. Read aloud to my nearest co-workers, it spawned more laughs. Predictive text is definitely the Freudian slip of the digital age, and he nailed it. Don't fire this guy, like, ever. He's really freakin' good.
"Absolutely Fabulous," Michael Paglia, January 11
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I just wanted to share my fond thoughts of John Haeseler, one of the nicest, cattiest and most open gay artists in Denver. He was integral to the News Gallery and as part of Hassel Haeseler gave a slew of emerging artists their start. I was disheartened to hear through Michael's story of his untimely death and will miss him dearly. Thank God I have two pieces to remember him by, even if I wasn't fortunate enough to get one of him in drag!