"Bringing Sexy Back," Adam Cayton-Holland, November 1
My wife and I are longtime readers of What's So Funny. That column and South Park are about the only two things in the world that are guaranteed to make us laugh out loud several times within the space of five minutes.
Adam Cayton-Holland's November 1 back-waxing-and-beard-growing episode was no exception. Nicely done, and we hope his hair adventures will have the effect on the Broncos that they obviously had on the Rockies.
Beyond just praise, however, I do have to admit that I laughed especially hard when reading this story online, as Adam's bearded photo appeared next to an ad that boldly proclaimed a single word: Tool.
As Cartman would say, "How very, very relevant."
"Hard Evidence," Luke Turf, November 8
Glendale has to import prostitutes for a sting? Isn't this the town Westword once referred to as Titty City? What a laugh.
It is clear to me that Luke Turf is only half (or less) educated about this story. I come from a law-enforcement background and am aware that the officers involved are unable to comment until the investigation comes to a conclusion. Further, we are all aware of how much the media loves to try to dig up dirty police/politician/priest stories. The problem is that these reports hinder our system's truth- and justice-seeking efforts, right down to jury selection.
Another thing to consider would be that the People's Republic of Glendale is the size of a postage stamp. Luring hookers, and whomever else, into being busted is a service that reaches far outside of the Glendale jurisdiction, and thereby benefits this entire state. The direct benefit to Glendale will be that the network of hookers, pushers and pimps will see the area as one that does not put up with any shit. Granted, the tactics that law-enforcement officers employ in order to conduct these stings are uncomfortable to even consider. Unfortunately, prostitutes are savvy to the methods undercover officers use to conduct a prosecutable "business deal." Even in these transcripts, it is clear that Mike Gross had to reassure his mark by disrobing; to a prostitute, this seems proof that he is a safe, regular john.
To believe that Gross is getting sexual satisfaction from these operations is absurd. Frankly, I'm impressed that he was able to get it up in the presence of such ghastly creatures: a testament to his dedication.
D. Phelyx Hopkins
"Dean's List," Michael Roberts, November 8
Michael Roberts has given readers some good insights into Dean Singleton's anti-labor hysteria. Singleton claims he was "merely trying to start a dialogue" about Governor Ritter's mild executive order, but what kind of dialogue can there be when Singleton and Dan Haley start off by comparing Bill Ritter to Jimmy Hoffa?
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This is not the first time that Dean Singleton has hijacked the editorial page of the Denver Post. He did it with the endorsement of Bill Owens over Gail Schoettler in 1998, he did it with the Post endorsement of George W. Bush in 2004, and he did it here. The Post editorial page has no credibility because of Singleton's ability to use it as his own private megaphone while hiding behind the "editorial board." As for the editorial board's credibility, every opinion I read is filtered through the thought that whatever the board says, it is said with its lips firmly planted on Singleton's behind.
So the governor let the field hands into the main house, and Dean Singleton goes nuts. According to him, being a "moderate" in Colorado means you always let business interests have their way and never do anything that would benefit actual working people.
Conservatives love to label trade unions as "special interests." The special interests of unions are working men and women in Colorado who are raising families, paying taxes and purchasing the goods and services that business relies on to make a profit.
Somehow Singleton has gotten it backwards. The state does not exist for the benefit of business, but rather for its citizens.