Bite Me, Jason Sheehan, May 1
Whenever I pick up Westword, I start off with the Letters section just to see if anyone is complaining about Jason Sheehan. About half the time, someone is, and it's always amusing. I myself like Jason, as he is a decent writer and works his life experiences into his reviews in usually interesting ways. Still, one slice of his life I wish he had not brought into his writing for Westword — and one which I am certain was easily avoidable — was about "the guy I know who fucked a chicken to death on a bet." This was shocking and unpleasant to read in this type of column. If Jason cannot make a better distinction about appropriateness in Bite Me, the Westword editorial staff should. Shame on you.
I enjoy Jason Sheehan's critiques, though he does ramble on a bit writing his novella before he gets to the "meat" of the meal. But last week's Bite Me recent commentary on Grand Lux went a bit tooooo far in calling the line people "sons of bitches," when a few words later he exonerates them from any fault.
Cursing them (and you not editing this) is not fair.
"Balls!," Patricia Calhoun, April 24
"What does Colorado taste like to you?," you ask.
Are you kidding? You give us too much credit. You expect us meager munchers (who depend on Campbell's, Smuckers and Pepsi) to delineate what we consider to be the "taste" of the exquisite cornucopia of Colorado's cuisine when it is already being expressed every week in Westword by the nonpareil verbal mastery of you-know-who.
There is no Colorado restaurant reviewer who has tasted more dishes in more varied restaurants throughout metro Denver and environs than the one and only Jason Sheehan. Who else? He's the been-there-done-that-man who knows the complete range of Colorado foods. Among them are exotic, homespun, ethnic, soul, Mexican, Western, experimental, gourmet and Coors Field's specialty vendors. He has praised the superb and castigated the inferior. (See his current review of Grand Lux Cafe, for example.)
There might be a crumb or two of unintended and benign condescension in asking us neophytes of nourishment to come up with anything as fitting as Jason's inventory of erudite reviews. Jason has previously answered your question with his on-the-spot grandiloquence, but thanks for the opportunity you have offered us.
Close your eyes.
Inhale the cool mountain air.
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That's what Colorado tastes like.
P.S.: As a fourth-generation native of Colorado, I can tell you what it does not taste like, and that's Rocky Mountain oysters. I know no one who has eaten them. I really wish this oyster fantasy would just go away and take the morons from the promotion companies with them. It's usually some idiot from another state who writes about us in Colorado, and they're clueless. From whence cometh these fools? I read the letstalkcolorado.com site, and out of twenty supposed vocabulary words, I knew eight of them. Terroir? OvisCanadensis? Lilly Dipper? Who are these people representing my state?
Sher K. Winstanley
Editor's note: There's still time to answer the question "What Does Colorado Taste Like to You?" — and perhaps win dinner with Jason Sheehan himself! E-mail email@example.com or post your answer here.