Looking for Larry #4
Preston Peerman continues to hunt for Senator Larry Craig in the bathrooms at DIA. Here's his latest report:
Location: Men's room in the main DIA terminal, just to the right where passengers exit at the top of the escalator (in front of the fountain). I'm currently in the middle stall reviewing the leg behavior of the subject to the left of me.
This particular individual displays four distinct characteristics that help me guess the identity of the politico/celebrity in the stall.
Italian-made shoes: Mark Ferrandino? No, far too nice a shoe for a District 2 State Representative.
Aggressive Leg Reactions in a Forward Fashion: Doug Bruce? No, I think they're in session today. So it couldn't be him.
Size 6 Men's Shoe With "Lifts": Ah-Ha!!! Andrew Romanoff! No, he's in session today, too.
Leg Motion Completely Stops to a Halt: Heath Ledger? No, he's in the NYC coroner's offices.
Just heard a flush.
Stall door latch was just "flicked" to unlocked position.
Door creaks open (needs some WD40).
Damn! Wrong on all accounts. Budget Rent-a-Car desk clerk on bathroom break. -- Preston Peerman
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Westword's biggest stories.