Lucas Hinch After Gunning Down His Computer: "It Was Glorious"
Lucas Hinch's late computer.
Colorado Springs Police Department
Colorado Springs' Lucas Hinch committed murder on Monday.
He admits it.
As for the victim, it's been identified as Hinch's Dell computer, which he dispatched with eight gunshots.
And even though Hinch was cited in the assassination, he clearly doesn't feel bad about the slaying.
The item about Hinch on the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter couldn't be more straight to the point: "Man Kills His Computer."
According to the CSPD, officers responded on Monday, April 20, to an alley near the 2200 block of West Colorado Avenue, an area captured in the following interactive graphic. If you have problems seeing the image, click "View on Google Maps."
There, they found Hinch, who the CSPD report says "was fed up with fighting his computer for the last several months" — so "he took the computer into the back alley and fired eight shots into the computer with a handgun, effectively disabling it."
Plenty of us have fantasized doing the same thing. But it turns out that discharging a firearm within Colorado Springs city limits is against the law. As a result, Hinch received a citation.
Our attempts to reach Hinch have been unsuccessful thus far — but in an interview with the Los Angeles Times, he sounds like a man who feels the computer had it coming.
Prior to the assassination, he told the Times the Dell gave him "the blue screen of death." He conceded that "it was extremely frustrating. I reached critical mass."
Lucas Hinch, in a photo from his Facebook page.
That's when he grabbed his 9mm pistol, and after putting the computer in a spot where he could be certain no bullets would ricochet, he pulled the trigger again and again and again.
Afterward, he had no regrets. Far from it.
Colorado Rockies vs. San Francisco Giants
TicketsMon., Sep. 4, 1:10pm
Colorado Rockies vs. San Diego Padres
TicketsFri., Sep. 15, 6:40pm
Colorado Rockies vs. Miami Marlins
TicketsMon., Sep. 25, 6:40pm
Colorado Rockies vs. Los Angeles Dodgers
TicketsFri., Sep. 29, 6:10pm
Denver Outlaws / Major League Lacrosse All Star Game
TicketsSat., Dec. 29, 6:00pm
"It was glorious," he said. "Angels sung on high."
Our verdict: The computer got what it deserved.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Denver, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.