Last week, we asked Mile Highs and Lows readers to submit their "funniest, most amusing tale" about getting popped with ganja, with winners taking home four-part stash boxes from Enjoy Jars. After hashing it out in a smoke-filled room all night over the entries, we've picked the (medicated) cream of the crop and posted them below:
The first winner, J.B. , proves that while it's nice for a teenage toker to have a blissfully ignorant parent, you can never be sure if one of their friends is going to be an expert on foreign tea strainers or glass smokewear:
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I swear that's only Earl Grey!
"Many years ago, in this very galaxy and by many years I mean the late 1980s. My buddy and I had a large beaker style glass water pipe or bong if you will, it had four hoses and four people could use it in unison, as long as nobody blew into their hose which happened once. So, I had it in the bedroom of my Mom's house , in plain view. One day when I forgot to shut my door she inquired as to just what exactly this contraption was. Not noticing my bleary, red eyes, I told her it was used to make tea. Well, she bought it and nothing more was said... for the time being.
Fast forward to a few weeks later and I was out and about while she was hosting a dinner party. Well, lo and behold the subject of tea came up and she proceeded to show her dinner guests my exotic tea making device which of course her friends knew what it actually was used for. When I came home that night she was waiting for me , by the look on her face I knew my cover had been blown and our "tea" bong was never recovered."
Our second winner, J.W. in Steamboat, has one of the funniest version of the post-modern classic "pocket dialed my parents" bust story ever -- especially considering he was a grown man and well out of the house at this point in his life. Ah, the
blunderswonders of modern technology:
"I was working odd jobs to make ends meet while the seasons transitioned in the mountains when I dropped my cell phone in a bucket of paint and water. Also during this time I was moving from one place to another and had all of my belongings packed in the living room. After I dried my paint colored phone I reassembled it to see if it still worked, which it did.
There was a problem though, it pressed buttons on it's own because the water had created some kind of short in the phone. I was able to get the phone to lock at some point that afternoon and thought it would be fine after it dried out more. I was relaxed that evening on my bed which was still in the middle of the living room with everything else I own.
I enjoyed a peaceful evening watching movies on the computer and taking bong rips, eventually passing out during a movie. My phone somehow unlocks itself and calls my parents after I pass out and during the climax of a good horror movie I was watching. My parents hear the movie and think I'm in trouble and call the police to come and see if things are ok.
My front door was unlocked and I wake up to 2 police standing above me asking me what is the matter and I have no clue what the hell is going on! All in all, they confiscated my bong and weed jar because this was before I became a legal cardholder and didn't give me a ticket because it was a welfare call. I was happy to be off without any charges, but sure do miss my bong and hand painted nug jar."
Congratulations to both of our winners and thanks again to everyone who submitted a story.
More from our Mile Highs and Lows archive: "Medical marijuana dispensary review: Top Shelf Alternatives in Boulder."