Remember when the hottest girl/guy in school became single? Or when your celebrity crush got a divorce? The irrational, opportunistic rise of elation you experienced then is similar to what I felt after learning that Kind Love is now open for recreational sales — except in this case, I actually had a shot! Needless to say, as soon as I got the news, I was in my car, white-knuckling my steering wheel as I sped toward the Glendale pot shop at 4380 East Alameda Avenue.
I’ve bought Kind Love’s wholesale weed from other dispensaries a few times and was thoroughly impressed by the Afghani and Gogi OG. Both were chunky, beautiful and delicious, and the buds that Kind Love’s clones have produced for my medical-card-holding friends are similarly voluptuous. Still, in the back of my mind were numerous heralded medical dispensaries that didn’t provide the same value or service for retail customers once they opened up for recreational sales. Hoping that Kind Love already had its inventory and pricing in well-seasoned form, I walked up to the new recreational shop above the MMJ dispensary with tempered expectations.
Fortunately, the menu only had eight options — or I probably would’ve been there until closing. The legendary Alien Rock Candy and resin-glazed Gorilla Glue #4 looked too good to pass up, but another, stankier temptress pulled me away: the Bordello, in all of its sour glory. I would have left the shop with the nug shoved up my nostrils, but apparently that’s illegal, so I bought a gram in a bottle for $18 and change after tax.
Are weed-scented candles a thing? I have a great candidate right here.
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Bordello is the child of the Blueberry Apocalypse and Alexis strains, making it a tangy hybrid with intense flavor that delivers an indica-leaning high. When I broke off a bowl, my lone, one-gram nug smelled so sweet and tart that it was almost acidic — and therapeutic, like a bottle of Sunny Delight after a long day at school. The forest-green calyxes and sticky resin glans had me bracing for a hefty, heady high despite all the sativa smells.
Two after-dinner bowls out of a bubbler tasted just like the Bordello smelled, but with a roasty sandalwood finish backing up each hit — a little like smoking a sour fruit salad. This would be a great strain for winding down with loved ones, as it brought about an elated but absentminded high: A euphoric, unfocused haze invaded my head at the beginning, followed by heavy sedation and a few stubbed toes as I stumbled upstairs to bed. Eighteen dollars is a little steep, but the Bordello always provides a happy ending.
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