Medical marijuana dispensary review: The Clone Store in Denver

This dispensary has closed.

I walked past The Clone Store twice before I finally saw its sign on the door out front. Granted, I was stoned, but the shop wasn't easy to find -- especially compared to its highly visible next-door-neighbor dispensary, Alternative Medicine Capitol Hill.

The Clone Store 1405 Ogden Street 303-993-5653

Hours: Noon to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday, noon to 3 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Raw marijuana price range: $35 for non-members, $25 for members. Other types of medicine: Edibles, hash, hash oil, tinctures. Handicap accessible? Yes.

I was greeted by an older guy with a killer accent who reminded me of the Khlav Kalash vendor from The Simpsons. He handed me a clipboard of paperwork to fill out, and I took a seat on one of the low bench seats in the waiting area while the patient ahead of me finished buying his meds.

The shop isn't fancy, by any means. That's not to say the owners haven't tried to give the place a clean, albeit dark feel. There were a few random pieces of fantasy-landscape artwork hung on the walls (the elephants are turning into sand dunes, man!), as well as a Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. bar mirror similar to one that hung in my house in college. Not hating, just making a point that decoration is clearly not something they've put all that much time into.

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Once he finished, the dude ahead of me skittered out the door, briefly flooding the room with afternoon sunlight before the door closed behind him. Khlav Kalash Guy gave me a nod and I headed back to the bud bar, where a tiny, boisterous woman named Megan shook my hand and introduced herself as my budtender.

Megan gave me a brief tour of the mini bud bar, which mostly consisted of a tall glass counter with the seven or eight strains on hand in glass cookie jars atop it. Inside were a few smoking accessories, edibles, hash and BHO. We talked briefly about what I was looking for, but with only seven strains for me to check out, I ended up going through every jar.

My budtender was chatty and friendly, and he knew a lot about the few strains on the shelf. She was honest about not having tried the latest run of the store's Blueberry and NYC Diesel cross (Blue City Diesel), and adamant that I try the Sour Willy as my sativa-dominant pick because she enjoyed it so much herself. I also later realized that she nailed the description of the deep, stoney relaxation delivered by the grape-candy-smelling Grape Krush.

Everything was priced at $35 per eighth for non-members and $25 for members, which is a pretty good pricing level considering the quality I saw. The shop also had $15 grams of sativa and indica-blended icewater hash and butane hash made from its grow's trim for a ridiculously low $25 per gram.

The indica-based icewater hash looked average, with an even tan color, while the sativa-dominant hash had a crumbly, yellow look, like wet sand from a Caribbean beach. To compare the strain, I took home a gram of the Sour Willy-specific butane hash -- though I've been wondering what my last week would have been like with that delicious-looking icewater extraction.

Expectedly, the Clone Store also had a wide range of clones. Everything is kept in a separate area, behind the bud bar in the back of the shop, that is lit up enough to cast a glow across the entire back corner of the space. All the clones looked healthy, though some were a bit on the skinny and lanky side. The shop had a few different kush cuts, including Skywalker, as well as a few healthy-looking cuts of Sour Diesel and Chem Dawg.

My budtender said the center used to sell plants ranging from just rooted to fully veg'd and ready to put into flower, but new laws prevent anything larger than eight inches from being sold. Now the shop only offers rooted clones just under that height for $15, she said. If you're interested in what's in stock now, the shop updates its WeedMaps.com menu with clones almost daily.

Megan split an eighth for me, which at the Clone Store is four grams. Technically, that isn't an eighth anymore, but I never liked junior-high-level fractions much anyway. So I disregard them any chance I get.

Page down for pictures and reviews of the meds Breathes brought home this week.  

Medical marijuana dispensary review: The Clone Store in Denver

Sour Willy: $35/eighth This was a very wispy cut, which budtender Megan apologized for before urging me to try this sativa-strong strain anyway. I'm glad I took her word for it. Out of the jar, the herb had a light, hazy spiciness blended with a crazy, white-wine sweetness. The herb was frosted over with light, ice-crystal clear trichomes that sprinkled my desk when I cracked a bud in half. It burned with a buttery, Trainwreck-like smoothness and left a classically musky cannabis smoke in my office -- like the smell of a good summer concert. As promised, the buzz was uplifting and energetic. A spliff's worth sent me on a house-cleaning high with a pretty heavy crash after about two hours. It was also a great appetite kick-start in the morning, despite leaving me somewhat loopy until lunch.

Medical marijuana dispensary review: The Clone Store in Denver

Grape Krush: $35/eighth There's nothing grape-looking about the neon green buds from this cut of Grape Krush, but I assure you, the smell was nothing short of a grape Otter Pop with a bit of funky hippie body odor thrown in for good measure. It was well developed, though I'm guessing it could have gone another week or so, judging by the lack of amber in the trichomes and the light, fresh green of some of the small, sugary fan leaves tucked away inside the nug. The Grape Krush burned harsher than the Sour Willy, and charcoaled out instead of burning down to a powdery white ash. Despite not finishing as well as I'd hoped, the herb packed a knockout punch to my head. All this past week, I've been saving the bowls for after 9 p.m., because I don't have long after them before I'm passed out.

Medical marijuana dispensary review: The Clone Store in Denver

Sour Willy Wax: $25/gram I'll admit, I was more attracted by the $25-per-gram price tag on this than the hash itself. Not that the light-tan color of the budder or the spicy, kief-like stank to it weren't enticing, but very few shops are selling their wax at such low prices. The quality was good, though judging by the oiliness of it, it could have used more time purging. Still, the flavor and smell were nearly identical to the buds I brought home, and the buzz was extremely uplifting and clear. I ended up smoking a lot of this on top of Sour Willy bowls, and found that burning it slowly instead of dabbing it directly in a hash-specific pipe gave me a more balanced and even high.

William Breathes is the pot pen name for Westword's wandering dispensary critic. Read more reviews from him over at Mile Highs and Lows.

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Denver Clone Store

755 S. Federal Blvd.
Denver, CO 80219

303-993-5653

theclonestoredenver.com


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