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Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

While most of us live on a budget that prevents us from spending thousands on medical marijuana each week, there are apparently a few patients with lots of disposable income to throw around.

Budtenders I've spoken with talk about people coming in regularly to buy ounces of hash oil and caviar -- buds rolled in hash oil. They drop thousands on their weekly meds.

For those 1-percenter tokers out there, we've compiled a list of other cannabis extravagances for you to check out:

Eating:

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

Pot brownies are so passé. It's time to step your edibles game up with an entire medicated meal.

Why order a regular supreme pizza from your neighborhood pizza place for around $20 when you can drop $60 for a six-slice pizza from Ganja Gourmet loaded with up to twelve grams of medicated goodness? For a side, slather some bread with medicated butter spread from Simply Pure and dip it in the company's medicated marinara sauce -- both around $18.

To wash it down, load up on CannaPunch OMG Bold Drinks, each packed with 150 milligrams of active cannabinoids. Compared to even the most expensive rare beers, $20 a pop for a pint of medicated pineapple mango juice is spendy. But just one of these drinks is enough to drop most patients like a tranquilized rhino. Of course, if you're the type of person smoking through ounces of caviar in a month, I imagine you've got quite the tolerance for THC. So you might want to grab a six pack for around $120.

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

For dessert, combine sweets and THC with a $12 pint of super-strength Mile High Ice Cream in one of more than 28 flavors. We've featured the dessert before in our top edibles stories and for good reason -- the stuff works and is addictively delicious. Make it even more extravagant by putting a dollop of your favorite flavor Mile High on top of a $10 PeCanna bar from Standing Akimbo for an evening-wrecking $32 dessert.

Colorado's priciest pipes are on Page 2.

 

Smoking Accessories

You wouldn't drink fine champagne out of a plastic cup, would you? The same goes for your meds: if you've got expensive taste in your herb, you shouldn't be smoking it out of some $15 Chinese-made spoon pipe you bought at a 4/20 rally a few years back. For people only wanting the finest glass for their fine cannabis, these amazingly high-end and expensive works of functional glass art are available at your local neighborhood glass gallery (along with many less-expensive pieces for those of us on a budget).

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

1. At $800, an eight-inch full worked bubbler This bubbler, by Colorado artist Simon, is available at Heady Glass in Englewood. As you can see, it contains some beautiful "fire and ice" sections of radiant reds and oranges twisted together with cool blues and aquamarine. The piece is a fully functional flower pipe with amazing reversed spiral (a style called reticello) in the marbles and a percolated downstem. On the low-end of our selected glass pieces at $800, I can imagine this being the portable daily pipe for a wealthy weedsman on the go.

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

2. At $7,000, an amazing brass electroformed work of art Although made in Philly, this amazing brass electro-formed item found its way to Colorado and is available at Mad Hatter Smoke Shop on Colfax. Reserved for tokers with a hefty wallet, this $7,000 collaboration between glass artists Toro and SNIC would be a dream pipe to most smokers. But for high-rollers, this would make an amazing daily toker to pass around at 4:20 with your friends -- most of whom will be scared to even touch it. 3. If those other pieces are too pedestrian for your fine tastes, don't worry.... What you're looking for is something like this extremely one-of-a-kind collaboration between Banjo, Darby, Deppe and Clinton from Illuzion Glass Galleries, on Broadway in Denver. The amazingly detailed piece stands about three feet tall and depicts a freakishly gorgeous female alien on a throne of skulls; she looks like something from the drawings H.R. Geiger. The $35,000 piece is well out of the price range of all but the wealthiest puffers and probably shouldn't even be smoked out of, period. (Can you imagine cleaning this thing?)

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

The pinnacle of cannabis extravagance, $150 per-gram caviar, is on Page 3.

 

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

All of the above extras aside, the most important things for the marijuana high-roller are the buds he or she puts in his or her pipe, and we may have found the most expensive buds ever.

While other shops simply dip their mid-grade buds in oil made from other midgrade buds to make a harsh, mid-grade caviar, the folks at The Clinic took their most exclusive products and blended them together into something worthy of the name. Twelve grams of hand-picked, top-shelf Kosher Kush buds were dipped in fifteen grams of cured, high-potency nectar distilled from 150 grams of Rascall OG, then rolled in refined Kosher and Rascall Kief. The result comes out to around $150 a gram at cost.

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

That means an ounce of this green gold would run you $4,200 at the least. By comparison to high end liquor, the most expensive bottle of champagne at Argonaut liquor on Colfax -- a 1999 bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal Brut -- will set you back a mere $2,000. The MMC does carry similarly-made caviar, from less exclusive top-shelf buds. Likewise, its regular caviar goes for around $50 a gram, or $1,400 an ounce.

Originally, this once-in-a-lifetime creation was intended for employees of the Clinic, but the staff there has since decided to raffle off five chunks of the Green Gold weighing about two grams each at $10 a ticket. Each Clinic location has a nug to raffle, and there's no limit on the number of tickets you can enter. All proceeds go to the Colorado-Wyoming chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Winners will be picked March 23.

Medical marijuana for 1 percenters: $150/gram cannabis caviar

This article originally appeared in the February 2012 edition of The Chronic-le, a quarterly medical marijuana supplement published byWestword.

More from our Marijuana archive: "Cannabis Caviar: $1,400-an-ounce marijuana promises a bang for your buck."


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