During my formative years in Grand Junction, my young, snotty buddies and I referred to the local newspaper, theDaily Sentinel
, as theDaily Senile
. Well, the broadsheet's having the last laugh now. During a recent visit to the Western Slope, I picked up a copy of the
and discovered an entertaining feature whose best moments are fueled by the sort of crotchetiness associated with the most bitter sort of seniors.
"You Said It" is a forum for locals to make anonymous statements about whatever's on their mind at any given moment. The samples currently online at the paper's website are quite benign -- a series of congratulations and thank yous to various individuals and institutions. But the items included in the September 4 roster were much livelier. Consider the following:
"To the teen who wants us to give them something to do: Use your imagination and intelligence. Go to the library, volunteer for the city or any of hundreds of other locations, pick up trash, get a hobby, get a job, do your homework, visit the people in a retirement home or a hospital, get some exercise. Maybe the best of all would be, clean your room!"
"Kudos to the city planners involved in approving a warehouse disguised as a church at 28 and a quarter and Patterson. What next, a few railroad cars for storage? What an eyesore!"
"Political ambition in moderation is probably a good thing, but shouldn't we be somewhat wary when it appears to ooze from every pore of our young state representative?"
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Granted, this forum doesn't discriminate when it comes to age. Here's a screed that takes on dudes of all vintages:
"Have you ever noticed how 90 percent or so of male drivers in Junction stop beyond the white lines at intersections? And have you noticed how many people make right turns on red lights, when a large sign says No Turn on Red Light? C'mon, people, if you can't read or can't see, you shouldn't be driving."
Clearly, these folks aren't senile. But a lot of them appear to be mighty pissed off. -- Michael Roberts