We're not in the habit of advising people how not to become a Schmuck of the Week.
That would be bad for business.
Still, it's just common sense to avoid drawing attention to yourself while committing a crime.
Apparently, though, common sense is one thing that Denver's Nicholas Broviak lacks.
So, too, is his freedom, thanks to an arrest for a series of burglaries — and law enforcers admit that the bust wouldn't have happened if Broviak hadn't been driving like an asshole.
Well, they don't quite put it that way — but that's what they mean.
According to a Town of Vail release, a Colorado State Patrol trooper took notice of Broviak at a little after 10 a.m. on May 6.
The reason? Broviak, behind the wheel of a Dodge Ram pickup, was allegedly tailgating other drivers and changing lanes without signaling.
After pulling Broviak over, the trooper couldn't help noticing that the truck's bed was filled with a huge amount of ski gear — twelve pairs of skis, fourteen snowboards and over fifteen pairs of snowsports boots — plus black plastic trash bags that didn't hold trash.
Instead, they contained helmets, coats, goggles, gloves and other clothing.
The trooper's curiosity probably would have been piqued anyhow. But as it turned out, there'd been a series of thefts in Eagle County over the previous couple of weeks that had targeted skiing-related goods. The Vail Daily reports that locations of the crimes included a hotel, a restaurant, a sporting-goods store and a private residence, where a custom-made fur jacket was swiped.
And whaddya know: One just like it was found amid a hefty haul that authorities say will take "countless officer hours" to inventory and investigate.
As a result, Broviak is taking heat from not one, not two, but three different agencies.
He was taken into custody for suspected theft valued at between $5,000 and $20,000 by the Vail Police Department and second-degree criminal trespass by the Eagle County Sheriff's Office. In addition, the Colorado State Patrol is on his case for possession of burglary tools, "authorized possession of a controlled substance in an unauthorized container" (you can guess what that means) and three traffic transactions.
Which are the reason he's in trouble in the first place.
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Look below to see Broviak's booking photo.