I suppose we at Westword should feel partly responsible for the jarringly self-satirizing promotion currently airing on Channel 2, which was recently rebranded as "The Deuce" -- a term that, as we pointed out, is definied by one entry in the online Urban Dictionary as meaning "a crap measuring 2 lbs. or more."
When the new moniker was first announced in March, Deuce general manager Dennis Leonard tried to make light of the fecal connotation, declaring, "It's the shit, dude!" -- and the aforementioned spot takes the same tack. "So you've heard about the Deuce, right?" asks a female narrator, as each word of the sentence flashes onto the screen. That's followed by a shot of a toilet that's crossed out as she declares, "Not that deuce. This Deuce" -- the station's logo.
Things only get more teeth-achingly forced from there. The ad continues:
"The one with all the cool anchors." (Photo: images of Tom Green and other Deuce personnel arrayed in a circular display, like grinning paper dolls.)
"You know? The cool spot." (Photo: a dog wearing sunglasses.)
"The spot with the toys." (Photo: a yellow toy dumptruck.)
"Not those, but these." (Photo: a laptop and an iTouch.)
"We've got your local tunes plugged in." (Photo: a guitar like the one Leonard plays in his spare time.)
"We've got shows, too: Tyra..." (Photo: Tyra Banks) "Charlie..." (Photo: Charlie Sheen) "Serena..." (Photo: Blake Lively, who plays Serena on Gossip Girl) "Clark..." (Photo: George Reeves as Superman) "Not that Clark, this Clark..." (Photo: Tom Welling, who plays Clark Kent in Smallville).
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"Because this is Denver. We do things a little rocky." (Illustration: Bullwinkle's buddy, Rocky the flying squirrel.)
And then, the grand finale:
"To recap: Deuce. Different. Dig it. Do it. Done."
Yeah, it's done, all right. The only thing missing is the sound of a flush.