Crews working the High Park, Waldo Canyon and Flagstaff fires already have more than enough on their plate trying to bring the blazes under control. But according to this screen capture we found on Facebook, one station -- or the closed-captioning software it uses -- is reporting that they're also having to deal with "PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD EJACULATING." There's a time and place for everything, folks....
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Update: The screen capture above has been popping up on plenty of Colorado Facebook pages today -- but it turns out that it's not new, or even local, as some of our commenters have pointed out. Here's a link that traces it to Southern California, where apparently road ejaculation is more common....