Photos: 10 things you shouldn't do when stuck in traffic on icy roads but lots of you probably will
We understand the temptation to do something other than drive on a day like today. After all, when the roads are icy and many of us are already out of the winter mindset (because we spent Saturday in shorts and T-shirts), getting stuck in a traffic jam is even a bigger drag than usual. But just because it's boring doesn't mean you should fill the time with distractions. After all, you'll be even later to work if your car winds up looking like an accordion. Here's our photo-illustrated list of the ten things you shouldn't do when stuck in traffic on icy roads.Number 10: Text
You know how when you're driving along in the fast lane and encounter a vehicle going unaccountably slow -- and when you pass it on the right, you're not surprised in the slightest that the driver is texting? Well, on days when the road conditions are lousy, a lot of people are introduced to the driving texter in a different way: when his or her car smacks into yours from behind. Number 9: Groom yourself
When you know the commute is going to take longer than usual, but you didn't get up any earlier, it may seem like a great time saver to comb your hair, brush your teeth or apply makeup behind the wheel. But not only do all these tasks make you all but incapable of taking preventative action if your car starts to skid, but you'll wind up doing a crappy job at all of these tasks. Expect your hair to look like you styled it with an eggbeater, your mouth to be ringed with toothpaste residue and your lipstick and blush combining in a special homage to Krusty the Clown. Continue to keep counting down the ten things you shouldn't do while stuck in traffic on icy roads.
Number 8: Tweet
How to tell the difference between the texting driver and the tweeting driver? Tweeters usually wear an expression of intense concentration, since they're not just spewing out information: They're trying to be clever. Which means their bumper is even more likely to greet yours with something more than a love tap. Number 7: Eat
Some people who eat and drive seem to believe there's no difference between the front seat of their car and a dining room table; they even use utensils. But those who gulp down items that can be held with one hand can be in for an unpleasant surprise, too. As when, say, that breakfast burrito erupts all over their lap -- at which point they look down, and then back up, at the smoking ruin of their engine compartment. Continue to keep counting down the ten things you shouldn't do while stuck in traffic on icy roads.
Number 6: Facebook
Why is updating your Facebook status while driving worse in our book than either texting or tweeting? Because people often see it as important, as if the world is going to come to an end if their Facebook friends (many of whom they've probably never met) don't know as soon as possible that they've broken up and are back on the market. And that means their minds are even further from little matters like applying the brakes. Number 5: Surf the radio dial
This venerable annoyance is especially dangerous under icy conditions. After all, people who are still punching buttons on their terrestrial radio are probably apt to be on the older side of average, so their reaction time has probably slowed down over the years. Continue to keep counting down the ten things you shouldn't do while stuck in traffic on icy roads.
Number 4: Watch a video
Yes, that Jimmy Fallon clip with Justin Timberlake is pretty damn funny. But no one will be laughing if the punchline involves standing on the shoulder of the highway for an hour waiting for the tow truck to arrive. Number 3: Talk on the phone
It's a classic for a reason: The minute a lot of us open our mouth to yap on a cell phone, our brain shuts out everything else. Including that slick overpass. Or the truck idling ten feet away. Continue to keep counting down the ten things you shouldn't do while stuck in traffic on icy roads.
Number 2: Nod off
Yes, it's boring to cover one-tenth the amount of ground as usual in the same amount of time. But that's no excuse for losing consciousness. Snap out of it! Number 1: Honk and shout
No one's going anywhere fast when Mother Nature stops a rush hour from rushing. So don't lose your shit when the guy in front of you doesn't immediately start moving when the car in front of him does. He'll catch up to it in another nanosecond, and so will you.
Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.
More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Photos: Top ten cars whose drivers can be jerks on icy roads."
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