Last month, we shared ten weird Urban Dictionary definitions of the word "Denver" -- and if anything, the attempts to define "Colorado" are even stranger. They vary from absolutely loving our fair state to loathing it -- so we've pitted the nice and the mean against each other. Page down to see five pro and con definitions apiece, with the last pair guaranteed to get you hot and bothered. Number 5 CON: Chairman of the bored
Definition: A place where the weather changes from freezing cold to heat stroke inducing in matter of days (not an exaggeration). Where you're either a yuppie, snowboard bum or non-English speaking. If it weren't for the great snowboarding and skiing, Colorado would collapse into itself due to all the boredom of all people existing on it.
"So where's the ocean?"
"Um there is none... but we can go to Chatfield, a big pond with huge jagged rocks on the bottom and smelly green polluted water and call it the ocean."
Number 5 PRO: You'll be back!
Definition: A place that is the most entertaining state in the history of the world and you say people wanna leave...but the high school kids who go out of state for college transfer back because its THAT good.
I am transfering back to Colorado because the East Coast is not as relaxed nor entertaining.
Definition: A state which is (or was) the home to the kids responsible to Columbine, the Ramsey family, Alfred Packerd the cannibal, and Focus on the Family. A state where you are either from a big city but you have SAD and your doctor told you to move, a yuppie who read an article about how great Denver is for business or kids, a New Ager who wants to be in Boulder with your crystals, a religious wacko, a farmer, a suburbanite, a college kid, or training with the Air Force. No wonder so many people end up having illegal affairs here or killing people.
I'm in Colorado now, fun.
Number 4 PRO: Great yin, great yang
Definition: Known as the 'Bi-polar' state 'cause one minute it's the next it's cold. A lot of tourist attractions and things to do all over the place. Generally nice people and people who actually WORK for what they have. Lots of skiing and snowboarding in the mountains. The capital is Denver with Elitches, as people in colorado call it, and Casa Bonita, an awesome place to go for atmosphere (although the food isn't very good). Colorado Springs, another large city, is less crowded and business-y than denver. More open space with parks, hiking, pikes peak, and Garden of the Gods. Lots of newer, more relaxed churches where the dress code is whatever you wear the rest of the week. Although Colorado doesn't have a beach, it makes up for that!
Amy: I just moved to Colorado.
Macy: That must suck!
Amy: Actually it doesn't! Everyone says bad things about it but it's actually really awesome!
Definition: Place where absolutely nothing exciting ever occurs, besides the stock show, cow tipping and skiing/snowboarding in the winter. none of which are that cool anyway.
person #1: Where are you from?
Person #2: Colorado
Person #1: That sucks
Number 3 PRO: The state of beauty
Definition: A state with extreme serenity, significant sunshine (over 300 days of sunshine a year in Denver) and the best opportunities to enjoy the outdoors. The Rocky Mountains make it the state with the highest average elevation. Denver, its capital and largest city (population 570,000), is called the Mile High City, because its capitol is exactly one mile in elevation. Denver is consistently ranked among the top of Americas fittest, thinnest, and most educated cities. About half of the states 5 million residents live in the Greater Denver Metro area. Other important population centers include Colorado Springs, Pueblo and Fort Collins -- all of which are located on the eastern edge of the Rocky Mountains. Colorado has extreme variations in climate. People in Denver can get a tan and snow ski in the same day. The enormous flat plains of eastern Colorado get huge thunderstorms in the spring and summer that make for a great lightening show and tornadoes. Colorado is where the song, America the Beautiful was written. "For purple mountains majesty above the fruited plain"describes Colorado to a tee. Beef cattle and wheat are its two largest agricultural products.
Colorado is one of the few states that is both a great place to visit and live.
Definition: Colorado is a place of abundant pretencious liberal sluts who enjoy mamma kitty titty nipples, oily faces, incest, enjoy announcing EVERY time they work out, have "guilty musical pleasures" like Kelly Clarkson, accuse people of stealing things EVERYDAY, calling people neat when they've never met them, obsessing over college guys they don't know, developing irrational obsessions, drunk calling people they've never met, "kind of" having sex with people,making shortened names for everything and everywhere, using suppositories, advertising their highschool popularity and bragging about how much they miss the mountains, and how the most beautiful, intelligent, athletic, in shape, healthy, most popular, funniest and wonderful people could only come from this most outrageously OVERRATED state.
Person A (from Colorado) :"I miss the mountains!"
Person B (from ANYWHERE else): "Please go back to them!"
Number 2 PRO: Water frequently
Definition: Colorado is the most beautiful place anyone can go to! And some definitions say that everyone thats from Colorado either does drugs or are bratty. Well I for one live in Colorado and yeah sure there are druggies and some people that are brats here but they're everywhere. The mountains here are amazing :) Especially during a sunset it's so pretty! People in Colorado can be extremely kind (most people are) or not the nicest it just depends on the person. There's no beach here but we have all kids of other things to do like skiing, snowboarding, and even hiking :) Its really dry here but the people who live here are used to it :) The elevation is a mile above sea level and people who come here are more likely to get alltitude sickness. So if you visit stay hydrated! The weather in Colorado changes so quickly! One minute I'll be biking with friends and an hour later it will be pouring rain or so hot we have to stay inside. But it's kinda fun never knowing whats going to happen next :) Well thats all I have to say :) Thanks for reading this :)
I love living here, everything about Colorado is amazing :) The mountains, the people, and the unpredictable weather :)
Definition: A term used to to define an extremely sore bottom.
When a person has some sort of Ass pain (Aspen) it is termed as Colorado.
Bob: What's up with you man, you are walking all funny
Murray: I ate a really hot curry last night and it totally scorched my ring.
Bob: Ooooooh that sounds bad, is it sore?
Murray: Yep, serious Colorado!
Number 1 PRO: Peak performance
Definition: A sexual experience consisting of 10 or more orgasms that peak like the Rocky Mountains.
My booty-call provides me with many orgasms.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
"Today, I am feeling randy and hoping to receive a Colorado"